“I will not kill you. My surname is not Wei.”
Warning: From Sahl — Don't be drinking beverages while reading the first part of this story. It's hilarious!
Ji Yue quietly stared at the plate of black, unidentifiable objects on the table for a while before asking, “What is this?”
How did such nightmare fuel appear in his dinner?
Wei Lian respectfully replied, “Braised carp.”
Ji Yue: “?”
It took him a long pause to find a fitting adjective. “It’s quite burnt.”
It was burnt completely.
Wei Lian replied in a gentler tone, “This subject made it himself. Won’t your Majesty have a taste?”
With newfound hope in his eyes, he added, “It took this subject the whole afternoon.”
Ji Yue took a deep breath.
“Wei Lang, if you want to poison us, just say so.” Ji Yue studied the blackened carp, saying the next part with difficulty, “Not worthwhile to...” He was not able to finish with the last four words, beating around the bush.
Ji Yue felt that beating around the bush didn’t fix his current situation. Since Wei Lian’s desire to poison him was loud and clear.
Wei Lian blinked innocently. “This subject did what you ordered.”
“We did not order you to poison us.”
“This subject did not poison this dish.”
“You killed this fish with poison. We are the True Dragon and can feel its lingering resentful energy. It’s angry that you have spoiled its priceless body into this state.” Ji Yue pointed to the fish’s eyes. “Look how it died with an unresolved grievance in its unclosed dead eyes.”
Wei Lian: “...”
The Qin Emperor could pull more nonsense than him.
“Remove and replace this dish from the table immediately.” Ji Yue ordered, “And serve a jar of plum wine.”
The palace workers quickly removed the pile of unidentified poisoned objects from the table and replaced it with delicious dishes one after another. The kitchen had long expected that the meal cooked by Lian Gongzi would be unpalatable and had prepared backup dishes in advance that could be served as a replacement as soon as the Qin Emperor gave the order.
Actually, they were already in amazement that Lian Gongzi was not thrown out with the pile of poison.
Wei Lian remained seated and murmured, “...How did things not develop as it described?”
Ji Yue asked, “How so?”
“Based on what was written in the manual.” Wei Lian said solemnly, “Even dishes made by this subject are unappetizing, your Majesty should have eaten it without a change in your expression and praised me for my efforts. Only in this way can you show your love for this subject.”
Ji Yue replied instantly, “We don’t love it.”
Wei Lian huffed, “You can’t do that.”
Ji Yue mocked, “Even if what the figures in the storybook made was unpalatable and not as good as it looks, there is colour and aroma in the dish. Your dish didn’t even have a ‘form’, how could our expression stay the same?”
Wei Lian’s beautiful eyes widened slightly. “So it turned out your Majesty also read those romantic novels.” Otherwise, he wouldn’t be so familiar with this trope.
Ji Yue: “...”
Ji Yue’s annoyance evolved to rage. “Shut up and eat the food.”
* * *
“Since you were out today in the cold weather, have some wine to warm your stomach.” Ji Yue poured a cup of wine and handed it to Wei Lian.
Wei Lian didn’t accept the cup. “Your Majesty, this subject also doesn't drink wine.”
He deliberately emphasised ‘also’ in his statement.
He really didn’t know how to cook, and he really didn't consume wine. He just hoped that the Qin Emperor wouldn’t make things difficult for him.
There were many cases of mistakes from getting drunk. As a careful individual who took great care in never giving himself a chance to make a mistake, Wei Lian never drank alcohol before, so he didn’t know his alcohol tolerance.
He had never touched alcohol himself, but he witnessed other people’s drunkenness. After drinking, they acted in an insane manner, bursting out in tears, throwing loud verbal abuse, and performing shameful deeds. Excuse Wei Lian for politely declining wine.
It would be all over if he got drunk and said something or did something he shouldn’t in front of the Qin Emperor.
So he must not drink.
Firmly insisted on not drinking.
“Wei Xiao Lian, why are you so useless?” Here comes Ji Yue’s daily disdain. “You can’t cook, you don’t drink, your body is so weak. You’re simply the embodiment of incompetent. Unlike us, we won’t get drunk after a thousand cups, isn’t that impressive?”
An incompetent Wei Xiao Lian: “...”
Fine, yes, you are absolutely right.
He saw that the Qin Emperor was already slightly tipsy. This man spoke with pride but he himself was not much of a good drinker.
“One cup.” Ji Yue had a few cups of wine already as small traces of confusion filled his half-drunken eyes. He was more stunning, charming and his voice was low and seductive, “Just one cup.”
“Give us some face.” Ji Yue moved closer. “Wei Xiao Lian~”
Wei Lian was getting goosebumps from the rising pitch of the Qin Emperor’s last word.
Since it had come to this point, if he continued to refuse, it was making the older man look bad.
He could not refuse anymore. This decision was out of his control.
It should be fine...it was only one cup, right?
Wei Lian had no idea how much he could drink, but he should be fine with one cup. Besides, the plum wine was known to be not a strong wine, since that was the case, it should be fine for him to try.
Having that in mind, Wei Lian finally accepted the wine cup and sighed softly. “All right...”
He covered his lower face with his sleeve, frowned, and tilted his head back to drink all of the cups contents.
And then he put the wine cup on the table, cheeks turning red as he said softly, “This subject...”
In the next instant, the young man in white collapsed on the table, losing all of his consciousness.
—Wei Lian really fainted after one cup of wine.
Ji Yue was surprised.
“...Wei Lian?” He called out with an uncertain tone.
The youth did not respond.
“Wei Lian, wake up.” Ji Yue nudged the young man.
Li Fuquan cautiously said, “Your Majesty, Wei Gongzi seems to be...drunk.”
“Why doesn't your Majesty have this servant order soup to relieve drunkenness?”
Ji Yue was speechless for a while.
“No need.” He said indifferently, “Everyone is dismissed.”
“Understood.”
When the palace workers were gone, the drunkenness in Ji Yue’s eyes dissipated without trace. He was extremely clear-headed.
He was not lying when he boasted about his thousand cups of alcohol tolerance.
“Imperial Physician.” Ji Yue called out.
The Imperial Physician who had been on stand by, waiting for orders, walked in. “Your Majesty.”
“Check to see if he is really drunk.” Ji Yue was still on guard, in case Wei Lian was only pretending.
The physician went forward to examine, and after a moment, he bowed and concluded, “Your Majesty, Gongzi is really drunk.”
Ji Yue’s eyes were calm. “You are also dismissed.”
The physician performed a salute and silently excused himself.
Silence covered this room.
“We thought you would be a difficult person to deal with.” Ji Yue focused on the drunk youth sleeping on the table. “We never expected you to be defeated with just one cup.”
He had never trusted Wei Lian before.
The young man was so smart that he had to guard against it.
He also had lingering doubts in his heart from the calluses on Wei Lian’s hands.
There was no flaw in Wei Lian’s defence when he was sober. That was why Ji Yue decided to use alcohol to get some useful information out of him.
What was inside of the cup was naturally not the mild plum wine, but an extremely strong wine.
Even so, he did not expect Wei Lian to collapse after just one cup.
He carried Wei Lian to the inner chamber and put him on the couch. The young man was sleeping soundly, not like other drunken people, who spit out nonsense or honest words after consuming alcohol.
Ji Yue frowned in dissatisfaction.
How was he going to get the words out in this quietness?
After watching for a moment, Ji Yue got up to summon a servant to prepare a bowl of sobering soup. At least he might get some answers in the youth’s half-asleep state.
Just as he got up, a hand wearing a silver bracelet clutched his sleeve.
“...Don’t go.” Wei Lian called out in a low voice.
Ji Yue’s eyes turned gloomy.
Was Wei Lian going to treat him like his mother again?
Ji Yue sneered as he was about to shake off the hand. The youth murmured again, “Ji Yue...”
Ji Yue froze.
There was this hard to describe feeling in his heart.
Like a cool breeze brushing lightly over the tip of the willow branch, fluttering the long-winded leaves and bringing a slight itch from its soft spring colours.
His eyes softened a little until the youth said what was next through clenched teeth—
“Ji Yue, I dare you to leave. I will not kill you. My surname is not WeiWei Lian means he is not going to kill Ji Yue because he doesn’t consider himself as part of the Wei royal family. That’s why I translated this sentence in a more ‘direct translation’. From Ji Yue’s pov however, it would sound more like ‘if I don’t kill you, then my surname is not Wei’..”
Ji Yue showed a trace of cold smile.
Good job, Wei Lian.
You finally showed your fox tail.
WL: One cup should be okay, right? Right? *clong*
He was out fast lolol
Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)