Warning: Sexual content

On Fuse’s walk to the dorms last night, discomfort jabbed at his thoughts. While it would’ve made more sense for Fuse to be furious about what happened in the stall with Karn, he couldn’t bring himself to be mad. And that’s what was so annoying. Fuse wanted to muster the energy to kick him in the balls before they’d even kissed, and had it been anyone else, he most definitely would have. But for some reason, he didn’t do that. He didn’t do anything. Instead, he just let it happen.

He’d sensed Karn’s presence the entire walk to the dorms. If it had been Fuse a month ago, he would’ve been cursing him out, but Karn always found ways to make him surprise himself. 

It was a spur of the moment decision—giving Karn a hand job. Amazing what one glass of alcohol could get him to do. Still, despite his impulsiveness, Fuse knew exactly what he was doing, and frankly, he didn’t give a fuck. After all, it was just a hand job. 

All Fuse wanted to do was even the score. Karn had caught Fuse off-guard with that passionate kiss and jerking him off. It was his twisted way of establishing control. By dominating Fuse, especially after the mission victory, he was reminding Fuse of his true intention—to be better than him. That was what Fuse assumed, at least.

Why else would Karn mess with him? Fuse suspected that Karn only joined the program to get some kind of an ‘in’ with his father. For all he knew, Karn and his father had conspired against him. 

So, he’d evened the score. Fuse didn’t owe Karn anything and had shown he wasn’t someone he could push around. 

Sure, when Karn first kissed Fuse and grabbed his ass, it admittedly wasn’t the worst thing in the world. And, yes, it stunted his focus. But this was going to be the last time Fuse let that happen. 

Though Fuse had tried not to, he couldn’t help distracting himself with memories of last night during his morning and afternoon classes. Really, the word ‘asset’ should not be a turn on, but there he was in business class, suddenly thinking of Karn’s assets as soon as his instructor said the damn word. 

He couldn’t wait to get his Business Management class over fast enough. As soon as the class ended, he shoved his papers into his backpack and made a beeline out the door. 

“What’s up, Short Fuse?” Ake drowsily smiled, a half-drunk bottle of water in his hand. Dark circles shadowed under his eyes, and his hair didn’t even look like it was combed all the way through. 

Next to him was Mali. Fuse never understood why she followed him around. Her gaydar must be broken, anyway. She was way too pretty for someone like Ake. 

“The opposite of down,” Fuse quipped in an attempt to hide his lingering agitation. 

Mali twirled a long strand of her auburn-brown hair around her finger and giggled. 

Fuse glanced off to the side in confusion. It wasn’t that funny. 

“How are you not exhausted? That mission last night wore me out.” Ake took a sip of water then  wiped away the drops on his chin with his unbuttoned sleeve. 

“The mission wasn’t that bad. You’re just hung over.” Fuse was so preoccupied with Karn that he’d forgotten Ake had been there too.

“Wasn’t bad, my ass!” Ake shook his head and stilted a dry laugh. “I’m surprised I don’t have any bruises like you do,” His friend motioned to Fuse’s neck, then continued, “especially the way that attacker kicked me around like a damn rag doll.” 

Fuse slapped a hand over the hickey on his neck and spoke quickly. “Well, maybe if you weren’t drinking, you would’ve done better.”  He subtly tugged his collar up in hopes of hiding that almost sangria-purple hickey. The bastard had put it on so high up that Fuse considered various feasible methods of hiding it, but in the end figured pretending it was from the mission was the best bet, and it had clearly worked...

Mali bit her lower lip, slightly smudging her hot pink lipstick. “I bet you crushed it, Ai’Fuse.”

Fuse shrugged. “I’ll find out later today when I get the results.” He didn’t want to jinx himself, but he secretly thought he did pretty well. The attacker didn’t get one fake stab in on him.

“Speaking of later today—” Mid-speech, Ake broke out into a polite smile and waved, while peering over Fuse’s shoulder.

Fuse turned his head, expecting to see Tao.

To his dismay, Karn was at the end of the hall, returning Ake’s wave with a wide smile. His hair was brushed out of his usual slicked-back fashion. Instead he had styled fluffy bangs that softened his features. He didn’t wear a tie and hadn’t bothered to button up half of his shirt, advertising his bare, muscular chest. Karn looked casually sexy. Compared to Ake, Fuse would never have thought that Karn was drinking last night. 

His shirt is so low he might as well not have bothered wearing one. 

Karn weaved through the sea of people and stood next to Fuse. Throwing a glance his way, Fuse noticed a bit of his brown nipple peeking out from Karn’s open shirt. 

Sawasdeeสวัสดี - Thai greeting, can usually end in Khrub or Kha, but without such, it is less informal..” Karn greeted Ake and Mali with a cool smile and tucked a hand in his front pants pocket. “A fine day we’re having, wouldn’t you agree?” 

“Not a chance,” Ake groaned and dramatically rested against the wall. “The sun is too bright, and the birds are too loud.”

“Sunglasses and earplugs will fix that problem.” Karn winked. 

Fuse withheld the desire to roll his eyes. “So will not drinking,” he muttered.

“What was that?” Ake asked, leaning his head in for a better listen.

“You were going to say something about later today.” Fuse regretted his words. He’d already brought the group’s energy down yesterday when he didn’t drink. The last thing he wanted was to look worse by scolding Ake for having fun.

“Right!” Ake nodded and crammed his empty water bottle in the side pocket of his backpack. “I’m performing at Lay’s Bar this evening, and I was hoping you could swing by.”

“That sounds like fun.” Mali grinned and moved closer, gripping Fuse’s arm and pressing her breasts against him. She gave his bicep a firm squeeze. “What do you think, Ai’Fuse?” She fluttered her fake eyelashes and looked up at him expectantly. 

“I’m down.” Guilt still washed over Fuse that he’d missed Ake’s last concert. This was the perfect time to make up for it. His friend was always supporting him, and he wanted to return the favor. He hated owing people.

“Maybe we can go together,” Mali suggested in a sultry tone, pulling his arm even closer to her chest. 

“I don’t see why not.” It wasn’t like Fuse had any other friends he wanted to go with anyway, though he assumed Tao would show up. 

Suddenly, Fuse felt an iron grip on his wrist and realized Karn had grabbed his other arm.

Fuse scowled, heat already flooding him at the simple touch. “Hey! What the fu—”

“Sorry, I need to borrow him for a second. We’ll be right back.” Karn tugged at him.

Before Ake could begin questioning, Karn dragged Fuse off to an empty area under the stairwell. It was actually the spot where couples made out in between classes. 

“What the hell’s your problem?” Fuse tore his arm away and rubbed his sore wrist. Karn’s grip was surprisingly strong, tighter than those damn zip ties his father used during that one mock kidnapping. 

“I could be asking you the same thing.” For the first time since they’d met, Karn’s ocean of calm rippled into a fierce hurricane. His gaze held a rage that he wasn’t able to hide, despite his tempered voice. “What’re you doing, flirting with that girl?”

“Flirting?” Fuse lowered his brows. “What are you talking about?” 

“You accepted a date with her, didn’t you? And you didn’t object when she felt you up.” Karn squeezed Fuse’s bicep, mimicking her touch. “That’s flirting.”

Fuse didn’t want to sound like an idiot, so he refrained from saying it, but he really had no idea that she was hitting on him. 

But why did Karn think he could decide who was allowed to flirt with Fuse? They weren’t dating. 

“Okay, so what if she’s flirting with me? Since when is it your business whom I flirt with?” Fuse asked, narrowing his eyes. 

“So, you’re just going to pretend last night never happened?” Karn crossed his arms over his chest, tugging a bit of material back and inadvertently showing off his perky nipples. 

Fuse had been trying all day to pretend last night never happened. But that was proving an impossible task. Even now, he was having difficulty not being reminded of Karn’s hand on his cock after the bastard had just touched him.

“We were drunk.” 

Karn scoffed. “We both only had one drink.”

“Which was more than enough.” Fuse feared what would’ve happened had he been drunker. 

“Did it mean anything to you?” Karn said in a surprisingly gentle tone, almost as though he was uncertain. 

Fuse felt a pang of guilt, but this was the response Karn wanted from him. He had to remember that Karn was intentionally trying to rile up his emotions. “Is a hand supposed to mean anything?”

“It is when it’s on your dick.”

“A hand is a hand. I use mine all the time.” Fuse avoided the sudden, stricken look in Karn’s eyes. “It isn’t special.”

“And I guess lips are just lips,” Karn retorted. “Hell, why even bother when body parts are just body parts? They mean nothing. I might as well stick my dick in anything too, because a hole is a hole.”

Karn sounded hurt. Which was really weird. What could Karn be hurt by? It didn’t make sense. Fuse thought that Karn was messing with him simply for fun, but that glint in his eyes seemed so genuine. He was either a really good fucking actor, or he wasn’t telling Fuse everything on his mind. 

“An orgasm is an orgasm,” Karn continued. 

“Stop taking what I’ve said out of context,” Fuse snapped.

“No, you’re right.” Karn shook his head. “The world is black and white.” 

“Jeez, that’s not what I meant!” Frustration pumped in his veins. Fuse couldn’t stand when people tried to put words in his mouth. His dad did that shit to him all the time.

“Then what did you mean?”

“It’s not like we’re exclusive, Ai’Karn!” Fuse froze as the loud statement slipped out, before continuing, “Or even dating.” He glanced around, checking for potential bystanders. Thankfully, the coast was clear. Turning back, he said in a low voice, “We just jerked each other off. Plenty of guys do that when they’re horny and drunk enough.”

“So you were just horny and drunk?” Karn drummed his fingers on his folded arms. 

“More or less.”

“More or less of what?”

“More drunk, less horny.” In all honesty, Fuse was hardly buzzed. He just didn’t want Karn to know how willing he was to give him that hand job. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t.” Karn pursed his lips. “I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

“What page is that?” Fuse asked, growing sick of this conversation. 

Karn sucked in a deep breath and shrugged. “The friends with benefits page.”

“We aren’t friends.”

With a light expression, Karn took Fuse’s hand in his and gave it a small squeeze. “Then what are we?”

Warmth spreading across his cheeks, Fuse pulled away. “Partners in the Bodyguard Program. That’s it.”

Karn stepped away with a tight expression. Confusion and regret instantly pooled in the pit of Fuse’s stomach. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Karn was too good at puppeteering his emotions, pulling him every which way.  

“Where are you going?” Fuse asked as soon as Karn started to brush past him.

“My next class starts soon.” Karn failed to look him in the eyes. 

“Alright.” Fuse tried to read his mood, but Karn must’ve erased whatever emotion was written on his page. “Don’t forget about our program meeting today.”

Karn nodded and speed-walked back to the mass of students in the hall.

Why did Fuse feel like an asshole? 

* * *

Today was full of distractions. First, he couldn’t stop replaying the feel of Karn’s hand on his cock, and now, he couldn’t get their argument out of his head. Karn seemed fine, but there was a suppressed aura in his responses that indicated he was holding something back. 

Fuck. Fuse couldn’t catch a break. Everything with Karn was drama. He didn’t sign up for this program so he could deal with some mafia son and his awakened sexual cravings.

“Are you and Ai’Karn okay?” Ake asked, sitting beside Fuse on the gym floor. Fuse was the first to arrive at the Bodyguard Program class. 

Snapped out of his thoughts, Fuse glanced at his friend and shrugged nonchalantly. “We’re fine.” If the definition of ‘fine’ was ‘totally fucked up’, then he was technically correct. 

Ake looked unconvinced and crinkled his nose in suspicion. “What was going on earlier then? Karn looked pissed, and you didn’t come back after your little one on one.”

Fuse was so shaken up by their tiff that he’d forgotten to return to Mali and Ake, who had waited for him. 

“He just wanted to congratulate me for last night.” Fuse grabbed his shoelaces, untied them, and began tying them back up, hoping his movements would mask his deception. 

“Uh-huh.”

“What?” Fuse asked, his tone feigning innocence. 

“Nothing.” Ake crossed his arms and pouted indignantly. “I just thought best friends told each other everything.”

Fuse’s breath hitched. He did not want to know what Ake was getting at. “I’m telling you everything.”

“So the flirting, the hickey that appeared on your neck after you and Karn were in the bathroom together, and private conversations in the middle of the day is normal? You don’t find that suspicious?” Ake blurted out. 

“He likes to tease me.” Fuse gulped and rubbed the side of his neck, immediate shame stinging his cheeks. “And the bruise came from the attacker.”

“Ai’Fuse, I might’ve been born at night, but it wasn’t last night.” Ake reached over and pinched Fuse’s neck, right over that sensitive spot. “I know what a hickey looks like.”

“Hickeys?” Tao sat beside Ake and dropped his gym bag on the ground. 

Every tensed muscle in Fuse’s body loosened and trembled in fear of the realization that Ake was catching onto him. Not that it mattered, but Fuse didn’t want Ake involved in ‘Karn’ issues. Mafia life was no place for his best friend. 

Ake’s notice brought up an even worse implication. If he was starting to pick up on it, that meant others would too, and soon enough, Fuse’s father was going to hear about it. Once his father found out his son had sexual interactions with a guy, he was a dead man walking. 

“Enough gossiping, ladies.” Instructor Sapol walked in the center of the room. “It’s time to announce last night’s results.”

The light conversations in the room quickly hushed. Where the hell is Ai’Karn?

Fuse’s gaze circled the gym. After three laps, he’d given up. Karn was nowhere to be seen.

I bet that fucking bastard ditched me.

Fists curled in his lap, his nails dug into his palms as he tightened them, and tried to sharpen the focus of his vision. His anger blurred his eyesight. It was like trying to look through the smoke and heat waves of a fire. 

Karn was a big fucking player. He tried manipulating Fuse into feeling bad for partner-zoning him, and then didn’t even show up to the program. Everything this guy said was a lie. 

Instructor Sapol pulled out a sheet of paper and began announcing the results of last night’s mission. 

“And ranking with the highest score in all three categories is Fuse. You earned a 9.5/10 for discretion, a 9/10 for successfully and swiftly disarming the attacker, and 10/10 points for doing so in under five minutes.” He had a non-committal expression, but Fuse felt a sense of approval coming off the man.

The group applauded Fuse for his amazingness. 

“Unfortunately,” Instructor Sapol said loudly, cutting off the celebration. “Since his partner did not show up today, I will have to deduct points, and place both Fuse and Karn at the bottom of the class.”

Fuse wanted to scream. He wanted to grab the instructor and yell at him for his bullshit punishment. His breathing turned heavy, as though he were in the midst of a fire, and anger boiled in his veins. 

“Hey, that’s right behind me.” Ake joked, nudging his shoulder. 

Fuse was not in a laughing mood. Unlike Ake, Fuse had a dad eager to chastise him for his every flaw. Fear-tinted anger didn’t begin to describe the bomb about to explode in the gym, and he was going to make sure Karn never played hooky to the program again. 

* * *

Fuse stormed to the library, treating the ground like there were dozens of insects to kill on his way as he clutched the book he needed to return so tightly that it began to shake in his hold. By the time he’d arrived at the return slot, his jaw had grown painfully sore from the tension. 

As he shoved his book into the slot, he noticed a familiar head of silky hair in the back corner. The library wasn’t the most appropriate place to let Karn have a piece of his mind, but Fuse didn’t give a fuck at the moment. With almost murderous intent, Fuse marched over to the male, who was reading a small book at a table. 

Fuse smacked his hand on the edge of the table. “Where the hell were you?” he whispered in a pressing tone.

“Here.” Karn’s gaze was glued to his book, seemingly unaffected. 

“You were supposed to be at the bodyguard meeting today.” Fuse was tempted to knock the book out of his hand, but he didn’t want to cause a commotion. “I got points deducted because of you. Instructor Sapol demoted me to the bottom of the class,” he hissed.

“It’s not my fault that their grading system is stupid.” Karn licked his thumb and flipped to a new page. 

“It’s your fault for not showing up!” Fuse shook his head. “Why weren’t you there?”

“I didn’t feel like going today.” 

Impatience searing away his control, Fuse snatched the book out of his hands and looked at him with scorn. Karn’s lower lip twitched as he snapped a sassy glare his way. 

“Why are you even in this program?” Fuse spat out tartly. Karn clearly wasn’t there to learn. 

“Because I want to be.”

“Fuck me.” Fuse growled and slammed the book on the table defeatedly. “I could’ve been paired with anyone, and it just had to be you.” 

Karn slid the novel over, his frown deepening. “What’s wrong with me?”

“You don’t take this program seriously at all. It’s a big fucking joke to you.” Fuse brazenly spewed his rage at Karn, not caring how bossy it made him look. His heart thundered in his chest, emotions pouring out as he met Karn’s dark stare. “You know better than anyone how much this program means to me. You’ve seen the pressure my dad has put me under. I have to do well in it. And you still don’t care.”

Karn’s louring slipped to a softer tone. “Don’t say I don’t care,” he said firmly. “I do. I didn’t know—”

“If you cared, you would’ve shown up today.” 

“I’ll show up to the rest of them.” Karn rested his warm hand over Fuse’s on the table. “I promise.”

“You fucking better, or I’ll…” Fuse glanced at their hands, mind suddenly emptying. 

“You’ll what?” 

“I don’t know!” 

“Quiet in the library.” An older librarian scolded. Fuse and Karn instantly wai’dWai is a hand gesture that can be a greeting and/or a polite way to apologize. their apologies. 

Adrenaline slowing down at the interruption, Fuse let out an exhausted sigh and rubbed his temples. He should’ve chosen a less public place to air out his grievances. Thankfully, the library wasn’t busy at this time.

Embarrassed and too irritated, Fuse stormed off without another word.

* * *

Fuse needed a drink. His day had been nothing but fucking stressful. He’d shown up to Lay’s Bar and was waiting for an available bartender. As much as he wanted to enjoy his friend’s latest original songs, he still had to worry about meeting his father afterwards. It’d be the first time they’d spoken since the rib fracturing incident. His father didn’t specify what they'd be discussing, only that he required Fuse’s appearance by the end of the day. The ambiguity was enough to shake Fuse to his very bones, and he swore he’d felt a sharp pain in his chest when he’d taken that tight breath upon hearing his father’s request. 

Whiskey would do the trick. Anything to settle his uneasiness. 

After grabbing a glass of mekhongThis is a Thai whiskey. Often, but not always, it is served with ice and coke., Fuse scored a high table near the front of the stage. He wanted Ake to know that he’d put in the effort to show up, and that he supported his friend. Plus, Ake had told him he always appreciated Fuse’s facial expressions whenever he played a new song. 

Fuse’s stomach had also begun to ache from guilt. Ake had practically told him he was being a shitty friend without explicitly saying it, and in many ways, he was right. He always told Fuse everything, and here Fuse was, not saying shit about Karn. 

But what would he say? Better yet, what could he say? 

“Exciting, isn’t it?” Tao asked, resting his Sam SongThai rum. on the table as he swivelled into the chair next to Fuse. 

“Yeah, he told me it was hard to get this gig.” Fuse sipped the smoky and sweet flavors and sucked an ice cube into his mouth.

A ping rang from his pocket. Fuse pulled out his phone. It was just a text from Mali, saying she was sorry and couldn’t make it due to her sick dog. 

Tap tap tap.

Ake cleared his voice into the microphone and threw the audience a shy smile. After a brief introduction, he started strumming a peaceful melody on his guitar.

Running away seems like the best option when your fears are faster than you’ll know. You spend your whole life being chased, thinking that you can escape, when the truth is you’ll never find home.” Ake lightly sang, filling the dingy atmosphere of the bar with a tender resonance. 

The place was packed, people shoulder to shoulder as they enjoyed the music or quietly chatted amongst themselves. It was hard to see, as most of the room’s lighting was focused on the stage, but Fuse could make out the faces of people nearby.

He finished his drink and excused himself to retrieve another one. On his way back to the table, a familiar, red leather jacket caught his eye through the dark colors of the crowd. Drinking a glass of bourbon, Karn was dressed in a low, black tank-top and his signature jacket, settled on a couch against the wall of the main area. 

Fuse’s heart instantly dropped as he saw a beautiful male with red hair running a hand up Karn’s thigh as he whispered in his ear. 

Hot blood coursing in his veins, Fuse bit his inner cheek and rushed back to his table.

So what if Karn was here with someone else? Why would Fuse care? He wouldn’t. He didn’t. They were just partners in the bodyguard program. That had kissed. Twice. And touched each other’s dicks. Once. 

Fuse tried to focus on anything but Karn and that stranger. He stared at the bridge of Ake’s guitar, guessing which chords he played from what little Ake had taught him a while back. 

When we run away from who we are, we push away the ones that want our hearts,” Ake sang out, plucking a C chord.

Or is it a G chord?

Or—

Is that guy touching Karn’s chest?

He downed the burning drink in one swallow and approached the bar once again. Fuse couldn’t help stealing another glance at the pair on his way. Sure enough, the red head was drawing circles on Karn’s chest. 

Why can’t that slut keep his goddamn hands to himself? Karn isn’t some plush toy to be stroked! 

Fuse struck his glass on the table.

“Why do you keep looking back there?” Tao asked, throwing a curious look over his shoulder.  

“Just thought I saw someone.” Fuse snarled.

“P’Karn?” 

“Someone else.”

Fuse tipped back his third glass of Thai whiskey, a slight buzz already settling in. He shouldn’t have drank on an empty stomach, but he hadn’t had an appetite all day.

That red-headed fucker was weaving his dainty fingers through Karn’s hair, and instantly a jolt of angry jealousy spiked through Fuse. That was his silky hair to play with. Abandoning his empty glass, Fuse stormed over to Karn with determined intent, pushing through people as he stumbled his way over.

Karn raised an eyebrow, and just as he opened his mouth to speak, Fuse snatched his wrist, dragged him away from the red-head’s grasping claws, and threw him into a dark corner. 

“Ai’Fuse, what’re you—”

Shoving him into the nook of the bar, Fuse crashed their lips together, catching any questions from Karn and stifling them under the scorching contact. Karn stiffened but quickly eased into the kiss as Fuse snuck his arms around his waist. A little buzzed, Fuse sloppily slid his tongue inside Karn’s mouth and lapped at the vanilla and bourbon-coated interior. 

Those hot feelings from last night flooded throughout Fuse’s body, simmering to an uncontrollable heat as he made a mess of Karn against the wall. He didn’t realize how much he’d been desperate to taste Karn until he indulged himself—a delicious flavor he didn’t want anyone else to have. 

Karn pressed his hands to Fuse’s chest, attempting to push him away, but Fuse wasn’t finished with him yet. As Fuse gripped Karn’s wrists, he slipped a knee between his legs, rubbing his thigh against the mafia son’s instant erection. Arousal tightened in Fuse’s stomach as Karn firmly squeezed the swell of muscle on his chest and let out a small gasp against the friction of his cock. 

That vocal approval only drove Fuse wilder, determined to make Karn writhe in pleasure, so much so that he’d forget about anyone else. Karn dropped his hands to Fuse’s ass and snuck his fingers underneath his jeans and boxers, causing Fuse to shiver against the exciting skin to skin contact. 

Fuse abruptly pulled away and stared at the panting man beneath him, his eyes full of confusion and desire. Through the lens of his tispy state, Karn looked so deeply inviting. Admiring the dark fringe that curtained his forehead, Fuse slipped his fingers through Karn’s soft bangs and pushed them back to adore the way his pupils had blown dark with desire. Heart pounding in his chest, Fuse trembled with intoxicating lust.

Mine. 

With a hungry drive, Fuse latched his mouth to the male’s juglar and dragged his tongue across exposed flesh. He grazed his teeth along that delectable neck, relishing in self-satisfaction at Karn’s rapid pulse beating against his tongue as he marked him. 

Blinding possession overtaking, Fuse sank his teeth into the male, lips greedily kissing untouched skin while he tugged his silky locks to make Karn offer more of his hot skin for him to claim.

Jebเจ๊บ, expresses that someone is in pain.!” Karn moaned, quivering as his fingers dug into Fuse’s skin. 

Fuse had no idea what the fuck he was doing. He’d never given a hickey before, but he would’ve given hundreds had he known it’d be this thrilling.

Catching Karn’s hard on, he languidly stroked him against the rough denim of his jeans to distract Karn from the pain inflicted. He loosened off a bit, opting for suction from his lips to mark up the tender flesh. 

Fuck, though he was certain that by now Karn’s pale neck was painted up with red bite marks, Fuse didn’t want to part, obsessed with the taste of him in his mouth. Had they not been in public, he would’ve been doing much more to him than merely kissing and biting, but he couldn’t decipher whether that was due to his drunkenness or not. 

Fuse nipped under Karn’s jawline, set on making it difficult to cover up his marks. Hissing in a low tone, Karn thrust his erection into Fuse’s hand and arched into his passionate bite. Slowly, Fuse kneaded his cock to the rhythm of his bite, mixing the two delightful stimulations just enough to entice Karn into wanting more. 

Forcing himself away, Fuse gazed at him. Karn was standing in silence, stunned arousal, eyes wide, and mouth open as he panted for air. 

“Fuse…” Karn clutched Fuse’s wrist. 

Fuse caught the time on Karn’s golden watch. 

Shia.Thai expression that can loosely translate to 'shit'. My dad’s waiting for me. 

He pushed himself from the wall and tore out of Karn’s grip.

What the hell did I just do?

Never mind that. He’d have to address his internal crisis later. Right now he needed to deal with his father... 

* * *

Still slightly buzzed from the whiskey, Fuse briskly walked into the building and threw his wad of gum into the trash. Hopefully, it was enough to mask the alcohol on his breath. If his dad hit him this time, he wouldn’t feel the true pain of it until the next day. 

Behind the front desk, Prasit frowned and stopped writing upon Fuse’s casual entrance.

“You’re almost late,” Prasit scolded. 

Fuse chuckled and gazed at the clock behind Prasit. “Pfft, I still have a minute.” He shook his head.

Prasit eyed Fuse with a concerned pause and tilted his head to the office door. “Go on in. He’s waiting for you.”

Fuse stepped inside. His father was shuffling papers at his desk. Noticing Fuse’s presence, he set his stack aside and threw him a contentious look.

“You’re late.”

“On time,” Fuse corrected.

His father popped his jaw. “On my time, on time is late.”

Fuse almost answered back but withheld his words as soon as he saw his father reaching for the stapler. Contrary to popular belief, staplers were heavy and could easily create two-weeks-to-fade bruises.

“I heard that Karn didn’t show up to the program today.” His father tapped on the top of the metal, snapping it open and closed. “Care to explain why that would be?”

Fuse swallowed dryly. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t have control over Karn, but for some reason, his father was holding him responsible. 

“He doesn’t take it seriously.” Fuse tucked his hands behind his back and stood up straighter, as he started to sober up. This was the time to be professional.

“I doubt that.” His father slipped the papers between the stapler. “Karn is a dedicated man. A purposeful one, too.”

Dedicated to purposefully being an asshole.

“His absence also cost you points.” He stapled the papers together with a sharp click. 

“Which isn’t my fault.”

“Part of your responsibility is the well-being of your partner.” His father’s eyes narrowed, clearly provoked by Fuse’s defensiveness. “It is entirely your fault if he doesn’t show without reason.”

“I spoke to him about it,” Fuse said carefully. “He said he wouldn’t let it happen again.”

“You better make sure of it.” 

“How?” Telling Fuse to control a mafia son was like telling a scientist to control volcanic eruptions.

“You’re his bodyguard.” His father squinted, finger tapping faster on the back of the stapler. “Figure out a way to keep him close.” 

Oh, we’ve gotten plenty close. Too close actually. 

“How close?” 

“Did I raise a son this dense that I have to do all of his thinking for him?” His father snapped and chucked the stapler at Fuse, the hard blow hitting his shoulder and leaving him stunned. “Figure it out!”

Fuse’s legs began to shake as though there was an earthquake beneath his feet. He knelt down and picked up the stapler. At least he didn’t staple me this time.

“I don’t want to hear about Karn not showing up again.” His father set the stapler back to its rightful place after Fuse had handed it to him and snapped, “Khao jai maiThis means, "Do you understand?"
เข้าใจไหม, Mai in this case it is added to the end of a 'yes' or 'no' question.
ไม่ is mai and is a falling tone, which means 'no' or 'not'.
?”

KhrubThai particle that can also mean 'yes, sir'..”

“Now get out.” His father gestured him to the door. “And by tomorrow, I expect you to email me three ways you plan to get closer to Karn. No excuses.”

“Yes, sir.”

Chapters

1 Comment

  1. Kaikai

    Fuse is conflicted as I predicted.
    “discomfort jabbed at his thoughts. “
    Love this image.
    “While it would’ve made more sense for Fuse to be furious about what happened in the stall with Karn,
    he couldn’t bring himself to be mad. “
    I love Fuse not being able to be mad. Namely Fuse you loved it. And enjoyed it.
    The internal conflict continues.
    “ But for some reason, he didn’t do that. He didn’t do anything. Instead, he just let it happen.”
    He let it happen because it was delightful
    Fuse is going to make me protective. He is churning with anger.
    Self anger.
    But sadly pathological even paranoid fears enter as he directs his anger outward.
    He tells himself it was the glass of wine that contributed to his impulsiveness.
    Yet he negates this with this comment.
    “Still, despite his impulsiveness, Fuse knew exactly what he was doing, and frankly, he didn’t give a fuck. “.
    It was a purposeful act.
    Fuse is driven by fears of being controlled by Karn.
    He can’t stand owing Karn anything.
    Instead of seeing this sexual act as an act of caring or sensual attraction , he denies any beauty to the act.
    Of Karn :
    “It was his twisted way of establishing control. “
    He further distances himself emotionally by saying.
    “ After all, it was just a hand job. “
    “By dominating Fuse, especially after the mission victory, he was reminding Fuse of his true intention—to be better than him. “

    This is a very negative view of Karn. Karn ‘s only reason is to dominate. Not for pleasure.
    And Fuse are you not forgetting that you totally loved being dominated by the magical hands of Karn?

    Incorrect assumption :
    That was what Fuse assumed, at least.
    This paragraph was actually upsetting. It truly shows how insecure Fuse is.
    Out of his fear of his dad,he wildly starts distrusting everything about Karn.
    This paranoia of the Karn conspiring with Bon truly makes me sad.

    Fuse suspected that Karn only joined the program to get some kind of an ‘in’ with his father. For all he knew, Karn and his father had conspired against him.

    It is also sad that the sexual act is being viewed as scoring. Like gaining points for doing it.
    So, he’d evened the score. Fuse didn’t owe Karn anything
    Fuse has strong fears of being pushed around.
    and had shown he wasn’t someone he could push around.
    Yet despite his efforts to deny and distance his emotions,
    the memories invade and distract him.
    It is telling and cute that the word “asset” in business class becomes a way to reflect on the valuable attractive parts of Karn.

    Fuse is flustered. Feeling out of control. Telling himself he will never to anything like this again.

    I still think that being a virgin and never having had sex with anyone, that Fuse was brave to do a hand job to Karn.
    Some virgins might have been shy about doing this.

    I think that it shows that Fuse was so driven to even the score that he pushed himself.
    But I honestly think underneath that supposed drive was a very powerful sexual attraction, it was arousing and something Fuse craved unconsciously.
    It is his coping mechanism but the conspiracy theory with the dad and Karn adds a very sad paranoia element.

    And yes Fuse put care into it as did Karn.
    He definitely is scared to admit caring about Karn.
    He has huge fears of rejection as he has never been truly loved in his life.
    It was very sad.
    Fuse is so cute as he thinks his sangria purple hickey can be passed off as a bruise from battle. No way boy. Ake is no dummy.

    It was amusing. It is a Fuse basically flailing around. It is kind of silly cute.
    Plus the fact that Fuse is oblivious to Mali hitting on him. Fuse is naive but cute.
    “but he really had no idea that she was hitting on him. “
    As he sees Karn his attraction hits strongly.
    I love this.
    His shirt is so low he might as well not have bothered wearing one.
    I like advertising his bare muscular chest. And that brown nipple peeking out.
    What was it expecting to see with that peeking? Cute sensual.
    Give it up Mali. Fuse is missing your cues and false eyelashes and brushes.
    Fuse again even with such a good friend, feels to the need to balance give and take.
    His friend was always supporting him, and he wanted to return the favor. He hated owing people.

    Karn however is very sharply observing Mali’s flirting. Karn drags Fuse away. Karn is jealous.
    It is actually a jealous rage.
    I love this.
    “Karn’s ocean of calm rippled into a fierce hurricane. “
    “What’re you doing, flirting with that girl?”

    So the ensuing verbal battle continues.
    Basically Karn wants an emotional response to the sensual act. And Fuse darts away with every excuse he can think of.
    “Fuse had been trying all day to pretend last night never happened.”
    “We were drunk.”
    As Karn queries Fuse, it is evident that Karn is craving a caring response. And that Karn is feeling insecure.
    Did it mean anything to you?” Karn said in a surprisingly gentle tone, almost as though he was uncertain.
    This of course is sweet and caring.

    This sequence of comments is painful to Karn and to me!
    Is a hand supposed to mean anything?”
    “It is when it’s on your dick.” Touché Karn. Fuse deserves that for demeaning the blow job.
    “A hand is a hand. I use mine all the time.” Again denial of anything beyond sex
    Fuse avoided the sudden, stricken look in Karn’s eyes. “It isn’t special.”

    This hurts. Poor Karn. He is hurt with this response.
    As Karn thought it was special and caring.
    And isn’t Fuse saying the exact opposite of what he feels?
    And it is at this point that I feel like bonking Fuse in the head with a banana.
    Look at how hurt Karn is.
    Fuse can you forget your denials and see what you are doing to Karn?
    Actually even while in his cloud of denial, Fuse is able to see he is hurting Karn.
    Yet he covers it up.
    They mean nothing. I might as well stick my dick in anything too, because a hole is a hole.”
    “Karn sounded hurt. Which was really weird. What could Karn be hurt by? It didn’t make sense. “!
    bonk here. ( notice I am attempting to be nice and understand Fuse. I could have blinked him with a hard coconut or squashed him with a papaya)
    Fuse can see he is hurting Karn.
    “but that glint in his eyes seemed so genuine. “ Yes.
    He was either a really good fucking actor, or he wasn’t telling Fuse everything on his mind.
    Doubting the genuine reactions Fuse doubts.
    Meanwhile Karn has been hurt. He lashes back with sarcasm. An orgasm is just as orgasm. The world is black and white.
    Fuse is flustered and not handling Karn well. He retreats into denials. He even lies and says.
    So you were just horny and drunk?” Karn drummed his fingers on his folded arms.
    Fuse : More drunk, less horny.” In all honesty, Fuse was hardly buzzed. He just didn’t want Karn to know how willing he was to give him that hand job. “Why do you care?”

    Karn of course covers up his hurt with I don’t and just so we are in the same page.
    Fuse is harsh.
    He also flashes into his dad’s interrogations and his dad answering for him.
    I understand that Fuse freezes under questioning and it is very hard.
    Karn although hurt does yell or use violence. But it is evident that he is very hurt.
    Karn tries for at least friends. Friends with benefits.
    All he gets is we are partners.
    Not even friends.
    And this hurts. It hurt Karn and me.
    Karn stepped away with a tight expression.
    He is hurt.
    At least Fuse notices this and feels badly.
    “Confusion and regret instantly pooled in the pit of Fuse’s stomach. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. “.

    Even here Fuse tries to blame Karn for being emotional.
    “Karn was too good at puppeteering his emotions, pulling him every which way. “
    Yet as Karn quickly strides away , Fuse is at least able to recognize his actions.
    Why did Fuse feel like an asshole?

    This interaction leaves Karn hurt and strolling away.
    It leaves Fuse feeling confused. Both guilty as he knows he hurt Karn but still needing to deny the relationship.
    Fuse is frustrated. Nothing is going well. He rightly observed that everything is drama with Karn. Maybe this is attraction?
    Ake comments on the hickey and possible relationship between the two.
    Fuse quickly fears his dad discovering a gay son.
    This is amusing. Ake.
    “Ai’Fuse, I might’ve been born at night, but it wasn’t last night.”
    So Karn does not show up for the meeting. This did not surprise me.
    But it was painful that Fuse who was in first place gets moved to last due to Karn’s absence. I was not expecting that.
    Like this.
    His anger blurred his eyesight.
    I love this.
    It was like trying to look through the smoke and heat waves of a fire.
    Fuse is so hurt he feels everything Karn told is a lie.
    I feel for Fuse and his rage. His pain.

    This is a beautiful passage.
    His breathing turned heavy, as though he were in the midst of a fire, and anger boiled in his veins.
    Again Fuse flashes into a fear tinted anger from his dad and is consumed with explosive anger.

    Fuse storms angrily into the library and discovers Karn. Murderous intent is an accurate description of Fuse.
    While under attack from Fuse, Karn appears unaffected. No longer the begging for emotion Karn. Instead calm. Even unsympathetic.
    It’s not my fault that their grading system is stupid.”
    Fuse’s attacks penetrate.
    I like.

    Fuse brazenly spewed his rage at Karn, not caring how bossy it made him look.
    I like Fuse being bossy.
    Nice image.
    “His heart thundered in his chest, emotions pouring out as he met Karn’s dark stare. “
    This was nice ironic juxtaposition.
    Karn had just spent time trying to get Fuse to care enough to at least begin a relationship.
    He was rebuffed. No care no special sex. No care.

    Now this same uncaring Fuse is asking Karn to care. Fuse wants him to care about Fuse succeeding in the program.

    He accuses Karn of not caring.
    Karn leaves his angry cold side ,softens.
    Don’t say I don’t care,” he said firmly. “I do. I didn’t know—”
    ( had to look up Louring. I had never seen that word. Cool ).
    So Karn sweetly promises with swarm hand on Fuse, that he will attend all of the meetings.
    Fuse dashes out. Embarrassed and irritated.

    Karn has a sweet side and did not hold a grudge nor did he really want Fuse to lose points.
    Fuse did let Karn have it. Karn tried to be unaffected but sweetly caved.
    It is ironic that Fuse who said no to emotions. Flips and demands Karn care about helping him.

    Fuse you are not being logical.
    At the bar Fuse is fearful of an upcoming encounter with his dad.
    I love this.
    The ambiguity was enough to shake Fuse to his very bones, Nice.
    “and he swore he’d felt a sharp pain in his chest when he’d taken that tight breath upon hearing his father’s request. “
    Nice. But sad.
    Karn is caring. And forgets his hurt and cares about helping Fuse.
    Fuse actually senses this as he hears Karn say he will attend all further sessions.
    These two are still caring underneath. While sparring.

    I love the words to the song.
    “ Running away seems like the best option when your fears are faster than you’ll know. You spend your whole life being chased, thinking that you can escape, when the truth is you’ll never find home.”
    These words are beautiful. You can run away from your problems. Your fears. But you will never find the safety of home and acceptance.
    Ake lightly sang, filling the dingy atmosphere of the bar with
    Like this phrase.
    a tender resonance.
    Drinking a glass of bourbon, Karn was dressed in a low, black tank-top and his signature jacket,
    I like this image.
    So Fuse turns to alcohol while listening to Ake.

    Give me a break Fuse.
    “ So what if Karn was here with someone else? Why would Fuse care? He wouldn’t. He didn’t. They were just partners in the bodyguard program. That had kissed. Twice. And touched each other’s dicks. Once. “.

    Of course you don’t care Fuse.

    This is a beautiful line. And true.
    “When we run away from who we are, we push away the ones that want our hearts,”.

    It fits Fuse perfectly who is running away from who he is. And pushing Karn away.

    I love seeing Fuse getting jealous.
    All of his declarations of indifference, go out the window.
    “Why can’t that slut keep his goddamn hands to himself? Karn isn’t some plush toy to be stroked! “.
    This made me smile as it is cute jealousy. Real. But adorable.
    Plush toy indeed.
    This jealousy of course is a nice twist or parallel to Karn’ s jealousy in dragging Fuse away from Mali.
    But I did not expect this reaction.
    The jealousy I would expect.

    That red-headed fucker was weaving his dainty fingers through Karn’s hair, and instantly a jolt of angry jealousy spiked through Fuse. That was his silky hair to play with.
    This delightfully possessive.
    You go Fuse. .
    Abandoning his empty glass, Fuse stormed over to Karn with determined intent, pushing through people as he stumbled his way over.
    Nice
    This I did not expect. I expected a tongue lashing. ( not literal although that might be tempting).
    But pouncing and crashing into a kiss at the edge of a bar. In front of everyone.
    Surprised
    It indicates how much Fuse really cares about Karn.
    Shoving him into the nook of the bar, Fuse crashed their lips together, catching any questions from Karn and stifling them under the scorching contact.
    This is lovely.
    Karn stiffened but quickly eased into the kiss.
    And Fuse responds.
    Love this

    He didn’t realize how much he’d been desperate to taste Karn until he indulged himself—a delicious flavor he didn’t want anyone else to have.
    The delightful taste of Karn.
    Fuse is aggressive with his actions including his knee.
    Again possession is rampant.
    That vocal approval only drove Fuse wilder, determined to make Karn writhe in pleasure, so much so that he’d forget about anyone else.
    I love Karn’s eyes filled with confusion and desire. I love
    “Karn looked so deeply inviting.”
    I love the way Fuse
    adores the way karn’s pupils had blown dark with desire.
    Heart pounding in his chest, Fuse trembled with intoxicating lust.
    This is a sensual scene with both of them responding to each other.
    Then there is a very erotic sequence here. Moving from kisses into biting and sucking, rubbing.
    “Fuse nipped under Karn’s jawline, set on making it difficult to cover up his marks. “.
    Hissing in a low tone, Karn thrust his erection into Fuse’s hand and arched into his passionate bite.
    This is smoking hot. All of it. Every erotic.
    And the lustful bubble is dissipated into nothing.
    By the dad. By the time.
    Fuse shoved Karn away and runs off.
    So Fuse you leave around Karn shoved into a wall. Take off. Yourself aroused and running.
    This is another case of Fuse surprising himself by his actions.
    All thoughts. All fears. All are dissolved by the desire to be sensual and possess.
    Didn’t Fuse do this once before. Need to look for this.
    But this is such a beautiful response.
    I love Fuse losing control. No it is not just the alcohol.
    And Fuse is caring for Karn while he does this.
    But did he have to leave poor aroused Karn.
    . Fuse did not utter a word. Only internally his dad and time. He takes off.

    So Karn shoved aside is left with no explanation.
    What would Karn think?
    He might feel confused.
    He might be very happy that Fuse possessed him to a degree with hickeys. And touch.
    So both. Happy that Fuse initiated incredible sensual touching.
    But confused at the abrupt departure.
    But if he really thinks hard,Karn might guess the dad is behind this departure.
    Then we move into the sadness of abuse. The dad as toxic people do blames Fuse for Karn not being there.

    Even though Fuse had no control over this.

    Fuse swallowed dryly. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t have control over Karn, but for some reason, his father was holding him responsible.
    The reason is that the dad is a bastard.
    Telling Fuse to control a mafia son was like telling a scientist to control volcanic eruptions.
    Nice.
    The stapler clicking and tapping was making me nervous along with Fuse.
    Then the father throws it at Fuse.
    This line was painful to read.
    Fuse’s legs began to shake as though there was an earthquake beneath his feet.
    At least he didn’t staple me this time.
    This is horrible.
    It ends quietly. An impossible to please dad. A yes sir. Defeated Fuse.
    It was a delightful chapter.

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