Do You Really…Love Me?

Gu Feidi kneeling didn’t surprise Qin Jianyue the slightest, but it was not the same for Su Yang.

He quickly reached out and grabbed Gu Feidi’s arm, uttering, “What are you doing?!”

For modern people, begging others on their knees was simply an obliteration of dignity. Su Yang had never knelt so humbly to beg others for anything. Naturally, he couldn’t bear watching Gu Feidi make the sacrifice for him.

In his opinion, if Luo Yu was determined not to remove the Poisonous Gu, he didn’t have to aggrieve himself to the point of pleading…As long as he had Half-Withered Crimson, he could suppress the Blood Gu for decades, which was enough to grow old with Gu Feidi in this world.

However, what he didn’t know was his cold illness and random hibernation had frightened Gu Feidi.

The fear rose from the bottom of his heart to the tissue deep in his bone. Gu Feidi was willing to abandon everything to seize an opportunity for Su Yang to live.

The other wasn’t aware of this, and that was why he couldn’t accept it.

He dragged Gu Feidi’s arm and tried to pull him up from the ground, while saying, “We are only here to ask for him to extract…to treat an illness, that’s all. This illness won’t kill me. You don’t have to lower yourself like this, this humiliation…”

“No harm.” Gu Feidi patted Su Yang on the back of his hand. “This is neither punishment to myself nor a humiliation. Just a request from us. Moreover, if he was indeed an old friend of our parents, he is also our senior. What’s wrong with kneeling down to your elders?”

Seeing that the younger man didn’t want to get up, Su Yang huffed, “Then I should be the one kneeling down. It’s not you who came here to seek treatment!”

Gu Feidi smiled affectionately and replied, “You’re not in good health, so I’m kneeling in your place.”

Su Yang loosened Gu Feidi’s arm, stared at the other party’s extremely sincere and serious eyes for a moment. With a new determination, he stepped on his pride and knelt beside Gu Feidi.

Gu Feidi frowned. “You…”

“It is me who is begging for the doctor. Your kneeling means nothing.” Su Yang raised his chin. “Since you insist, then I’ll kneel as well. We are both masters of martial arts. What is there for us to be afraid of from kneeling for a couple of days?”

Gu Feidi sighed, “The ground is cold, and your body…”

“There is no reason for you to kneel while I stand. If you must kneel to beg him, then I’ll accompany you.” Su Yang stubbornly locked with Gu Feidi’s eyes. “Otherwise, we could always not kneel and go down the mountain together, back home.”

Gu Feidi was at a loss for words.

He grabbed Su Yang’s hand, intertwined their fingers and almost begged, “Don’t do this…I can’t bear it…”

Su Yang rebuked, “Then I also can’t bear you kneeling on the ground as well. Why don’t you want to get up?”

Gu Feidi explained helplessly, “I’m different from you. I’m stronger and not afraid of the bitter cold.”

Seeing Gu Feidi’s iron heart on going through the pleading for him, an indescribable emotion appeared in Su Yang’s heart.

Moved, but with a hint of anger; tenderness, but also distressed; even a faint hint of self-blame. These emotions were swelling inside of him, and he couldn’t distinguish if they were toward Gu Feidi or himself, for being too weak.

—All these complex emotions were choked up in Su Yang’s heart, so tangled with each other, that he couldn’t unravel them. Until they finally and slowly formed into a desperate idea, like crossing the ocean on a burning boat.

Su Yang closed his eyes. ‘If you want to find a way to soften Luo Yu’s heart as a doctor, nothing is more efficient than standing on the edge of death.’

So he released Gu Feidi’s hand, stood up slowly, and walked in front of Qin Jiangyue, who was still standing by the door.

Qin Jianyue raised an eyebrow but remained unmoved, with his arms crossed.

Su Yang actually didn’t need Qin Jianyue for his plan.

He lowered his gaze as he slowly urged the cold internal energy in his body, and began to circulate the energy inside using Half-Withered Crimson.

After just a few breaths, the Apparition of Frozen Lake inside Su Yang’s body began to move along with the mental skills, as it quickly rushed through his meridians.

Under the snowy mountains' cold environment, Su Yang’s breathing soon carried ice, as it lingered around him and condensed on his eyelashes and eyebrows, forming pure white and translucent ice like long silk threads.

The chaotic awareness made Su Yang feel unstable. He knew he’d triggered his cold illness, and would soon fall unconscious, so he slowly stopped using his mental skill.

Swaying a bit, he lifted his head to look at Qin Jianyue, who was surprised.

“You…” Qin Jianyue finally showed some emotion in his eyes.

Su Yang used the last of his strength to give the older man a smile. Then, his vision turned dark as he fell stiffly backwards.

Gu Feidi flew forward to catch Su Yang. He held the unconscious man in his arms as they fell and sat on the hard cold slate ground in front of the courtyard.

Su Yang’s complexion was like the snow on the ground, and his body was cold as ice. With faint traces of ice crystals materialised around his face, he appeared as if the slightest mishap could shatter him.

This was the most violent cold illness episode, which was completely beyond Su Yang’s expectations. He didn’t know whether it was because of the environment or because he was too rushed on using the Half-Withered Crimson. It seemed that in the blink of an eye, Su Yang’s breathing and pulse were weakened to the point of non-existence. 

“Su Yang!”

Gu Feidi was flustered and called the other’s name several times while inserting his own internal energy into the frozen body.

However, this time, his internal energy seemed to disappear with no hope of returning, as there was no sign of improvement in Su Yang’s suffering.

Gu Feidi’s eyes suddenly turned red and wet, as he shouted in panic, “Su Yang…Please don’t scare me…”

Qin Jiangyue studied the situation and stretched out his hand to probe Su Yang’s pulse.

After a moment, he snapped his head at Gu Feidi. “He practised—Half-Withered Crimson?!”

Gu Feidi choked with emotion and nodded. “He did it…to save me…”

Qin Jiangyue’s face turned dignified. “Did he practice for himself, or to expel it for someone?”

“It’s to save me…I was the one who got the Blood Gu…It was me…”

Gu Feidi hugged Su Yang tightly. For a moment, his anxiety prevented him from forming complete sentences, as everything coming out of his mouth was semi-incoherent.

He gritted his teeth and tried to explain it plainly. “The Sect Leader informed me that Su Yang will die…and allowed us to come here to find the Miracle Doctor, Luo Yu…”

However, in these few words, Su Yang’s pulse slowly decreased as if it was almost stagnant. 

Gu Feidi finally couldn’t bear it any longer. He held Su Yang in one hand and grabbed Qin Jianyue’s arm in the other hand. He cried, “Save him, please—”

The dam finally broke as tears rolled down Gu Feidi’s cheeks and landed on Su Yang’s face, which was covered in thin ice, creating faint tear stains on the layer of glistering ice. 

Just then, a voice came from behind the gate, with emphasis, “Take him to the hot spring in the back garden. Seal off the ‘qihai’ and ‘tianshu’ in his lower abdomen, ‘shenzang’ on his right chest, ‘tianzong’ and ‘xuanshu’ on his back. Quickly!”

As soon as the doctor ordered, Su Yang was taken away by Qin Jianyue from Gu Feidi’s arms as they disappeared through the gate in the blink of an eye.

Gu Feidi staggered up, watching Luo Yu departing back inside the courtyard. He wiped his face and followed hastily. 

He hurried all the way to the corner near the cliff behind the courtyard on the mountain. He had no time to marvel at the lush green vegetation here, as the steaming pool before him captured all of his attention. 

Su Yang was sitting in the hot spring pool with Qin Jianyue’s support. His clothes were untied and silver needles were inserted in several places. Although Su Yang still hadn't woken up, his complexion looked much better.

Luo Yu also looked relieved. He turned toward Gu Feidi and asked, “You practice righteous sun mental skills, correct?”

Gu Feidi nodded. “Yes.”

Luo Yu instructed, “Go down into the water and cross your energy in the region between his heart and diaphragm. This will help him dissolve the cold in his body.”

Gu Feidi immediately did what the doctor told him. 

The hot spring was hotter than a comfortable warm, but he completely disregarded it, as he quickly came behind Su Yang and pressed the acupoints on the shoulders with his palm. He squeezed out his remaining internal energy and inserted them into Su Yang’s meridians slowly.

Luo Yu walked him through it. “From ‘weiyu’ on the shoulder just below the neck to ‘tianzong’ on his shoulder blade… Now, remove the needle over ‘tianzong’.”

Qin Jiangyue pulled out the needle that sealed the acupoint near the shoulder blade.

Listening to the doctor’s words, Gu Feidi moved his internal energy slowly, and each of the needles on Su Yang’s body was removed one by one.

After the last needle was off, Su Yang’s complexion finally turned more human. Although he was still pale, the red was back on his lips, and his temperature, pulse, and breathing gradually returned to normal.

Seeing that Luo Yu was not giving the next instruction, Gu Feidi hugged Su Yang firmly from behind, and buried his cheek in the crook of the other man’s neck, and softly sobbed uncontrollably. 

Luo Yu slowly loosened his clenched fists. He gritted his teeth and said hatefully, “...Ungrateful brat!”

Qin Jianyue came out of the water, smiled and asked, “Didn’t you say you don’t want to see him? Why were you standing behind the door?”

“If I wasn’t there, this kid wouldn't be alive even if he was a cat with nine lives!” Luo Yu sneered. “That Half-Withered Crimson was originally from E’Luo Gui Faction as a way to refine the Gu, which has always been used by the Great Shaman to cultivate the Poisonous Gu using humans. A hundred years ago, a shaman stole the last three chapters and took them to the Evil Sect. After several modifications, they became the Half-Withered Crimson that you know now.”

As he spoke, he snorted lightly and examined the still unconscious Su Yang in the pool. “Fortunately, he carried the royal blood of my faction. Otherwise, with his current skills, he would have died on the way here.”

Hearing this, Gu Feidi was startled as he turned to Luo Yu in surprise.

Luo Yu didn’t go into details as he advised, “Stay with him in the hot spring. Once he wakes up, call for one of my disciples to inform me.”

As things finally calmed down and something finally sunk in, Gu Feidi changed to kneeling position in the water and said toward Luo Yu respectfully, “Thanking the Miracle Doctor so much for the help.”

Luo Yu tiredly waved his hand. Saying nothing, he turned and left.

At last, with the crisis finally over, Gu Feidi was relieved to see that Su Yang was out of danger.

When Luo Yu and Qin Jiangyue left, he moved to the hot spring’s shore with Su Yang and snuggled with the sleeping man against the stone. 

With Su Yang in his arms, Gu Feidi closed his eyes and meditated to restore his internal energy. He never entered a deep meditation state, so as to not miss the moment when Su Yang woke up.

When the sun slanted to the west and the horizon was dyed by the red-orange sunset on the thick layer of clouds, Su Yang woke up slowly in Gu Feidi’s warm embrace. 

Looking at the unfamiliar surroundings blankly, Su Yang’s eyes gradually focused as his gaze landed on Gu Feidi’s face, staring at the younger man silently.

“Su Yang.” Gu Feidi whispered.

“En…” Su Yang answered.

Still feeling weak, coupled with the steam from the hot spring, he didn’t know what to say, as his brain was drifting slightly from the drowsiness. 

The arms around him tightened, to the point of hurting slightly, making Su Yang groan softly. He turned his head to yell at the other man, but Gu Feidi interrupted him faster.

“When you were in front of the gate, did you deliberately trigger your cold illness with your internal energy?” He asked.

Su Yang was immediately made speechless by the question.

He admitted that he overdid it at the gate, but it was stimulated by Gu Feidi’s kneeling. But he didn’t know what happened after he lost consciousness. He just thought he would faint like how he did in the past.

So he chuckled twice and tried to play it down. “So…Is that why we are inside…”

“Did you know that you almost died?” Gu Feidi’s voice was low. The redness from before was back around his eyes as tears started to fall.

He whispered angrily, “How could you…how could you do that! Did you know how scared I was?”

Su Yang was startled by the emotion in Gu Feidi’s eyes. His throat felt tight, as no words could come out for a moment.

“You’ve always been like this…” Gu Feidi stared into Su Yang’s eyes. “You’ve never…taken your own life seriously. Please tell me what I should do to have a little peace of mind. That I could believe that you won’t suddenly leave me alone in this world one day?”

Su Yang struggled to answer.

It was not until now, being asked by Gu Feidi with his deep sobbing voice, Su Yang suddenly realised the way he acted, even after he abandoned the plot and integrated into the world…He never saw himself as the same as the people here.

In his subconscious mind, his life in this world was not real. That was why he had the mindset to commit suicide during the first few days he transmigrated here. He had the guts to jump into the Jade Mirror Lake to save people, the courage to come between the sword and Gu Feidi, and…dared to regard his body as a virtual game character, exploiting it without the care of the consequences. 

A tear fell from Gu Feidi’s eyes and splash into the hot water between them.

“If you really…” Gu Feidi said in a hoarse voice. “If you really have feelings and attachment toward me, why…why are you still not afraid of death?”

He approached Su Yang slowly, asked from his trembling lips, “Do you really…love me?”

Su Yang only felt that he was about to be sucked into the endless abyss that was Gu Feid’s eyes, and was almost crushed by the complex emotions lurking in them.

His mind blanked out as he couldn’t find his voice to say a single word.

After a long time, without getting Su Yang’s answer, Gu Feidi closed his eyes and clenched his teeth together.

Then he suddenly stretched out his hand, tightly grasped the back of Su Yang’s neck, and pushed the older man against the hot spring shore almost like a ferocious beast. He pressed the other man under him on the stone bank, chasing those cold lips for a kiss...

Translator's Corner

Teo: There is nothing from the author for this and the next chapters TUT For any acupuncture in the future, they will be in single quotes followed by their general location.

Editor's Corner

Yume: The real interesting parts are missing, yah! *so miserable*

Sahl: It’s okay, Yume… *pat pat* *sobs*


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  1. Muggelschmuggel

    ».. but it was stimulated by Gu Feid’s kneeling.« Feidi’s

    They got inside, yay. But poor boy GFD is in a rollercoaster of feelings and moods bc of a certain someone who doesn’t gets his cakehole to work out words x’D

    Thx for the ch ٩( >ヮ<)۶
    (And they finally appeared on NU :3)

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