You Want to…With Me?

Gu Feidi tried to restrain his crying. He bit his bottom lip and refused to utter a sound. But his choked up sobs had the opposite effect on an equally heartbroken Su Yang, as tears silently gathered in his eyes. 

He hugged Gu Feidi back, reached out and gently stroked the other’s hair. After a long hesitation, he whispered, “...I’m sorry.”

Gu Feidi tightened his hand on Su Yang’s shoulder, clutched the fabric in his fingers, and remained buried in the crook of Su Yang’s neck without answering.

After a moment’s silence, Su Yang murmured slowly, “Actually…I never expected things to end up like this.”

Because, as a transmigrator, his mindset was still alienated from this martial arts world. He was mentally prepared for his death as the Evil Sect’s Young Master. Although it differed completely from his current situation, he still didn’t know if he would return to his reality once he died in this fictional world. But the main point was, from the bottom of his heart, he didn’t have the slightest fear of dying.

The emotion he felt wasn’t fear, but it was a sense of disappointment and frustration as a spectator watching a predestined fate.

There were also worries and terror when he thought about how he might not be able to continue his life with Gu Feidi because of returning to his reality in the future. Feeling at a loss, pain, and anxiety was to be expected…Sometimes, he would think that no matter if he would wake up in his reality after he left this world or not, in this world, it was a real farewell to Gu Feidi.

It was too cruel.

However, now that things had become like this, he really didn’t know how to change it.

He didn’t even know how to comfort the younger man. Choosing action as it was louder than words, he lowered his hand from Gu Feidi’s hair and patted his back gently.

Fortunately, Gu Feidi calmed down quickly.

He turned over to lay on his back, raised his arm to cover his eyes and asked, “I guessed correctly, didn’t I?”

After pausing for a moment, confirming that Su Yang would not answer, he pursued the truth. “Because of the Apparition inside of you, and you practising Half-Withered Crimson, it will…”

He took in a few deep breaths, unable to finish the last words.

Su Yang turned over, lying on his side facing Gu Feidi. He reached out and gently pulled the arm that was covering the other’s dark eyes, moved upward towards the hand and laced their fingers together.

He gazed at Gu Feidi’s reddened eyes and whispered, “I also didn’t know what was going to happen, that’s why I didn’t tell you beforehand. No matter what the result is, we need to continue living…because we don’t have the power to stop time.”

For a long time, Gu Feidi closed his eyes. He sighed and wished hoarsely, “Maybe it would be better…If I had never met you.”

This confession startled Su Yang. His throat tightened and his nose stuffed up as his tears threatened to fall down.

A sentence that he thought he would never hear coming out of Gu Feidi’s mouth. He was so distressed, as if his heart was being crushed by the surrounding muscle. He had to know, “Do you regret it?”

As expected for the two arch-rivals…Why would they have a good ending when they went against their destined roles?

Gu Feidi was finally willing to turn his face to look at Su Yang.

He opened his mouth but hesitated to speak. After a long silence, he uttered, “If I didn’t meet you, my life might have ended at the bottom of the Jade Mirror Lake. But at least…”

He paused because of the overwhelming emotion, then he continued, “...At least you wouldn’t be weakened to such a degree.”

Of course, he is self-blaming…Su Yang sighed and removed his hand away from other’s and held Gu Feidi’s cheek.

Gu Feidi went on, “Whether it be the Apparition or the Half-Withered Crimson…If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t even be in contact with them.”

“But you weren’t the one at fault.”

Su Yang’s mouth twitched with a reassuring smile and he soothed, “You didn’t jump into the Jade Mirror Lake on purpose, and being infected with Blood Gu was never something you wanted…If someone was to blame, it would be the fault of the Faction’s spy planted in my Sect. If that’s the case, both the E’Luo Gui Faction and the Evil Sect’s bed servants are more closely related to me.”

He flattened his lips and vented, “Maybe this is my retribution for causing suffering as the Evil Sect’s Young Master.”

“But you didn't choose this, being in this body.” Gu Feidi disagreed. “You’re not the one who abducted those teenagers to the Evil Sect, at least, you weren’t the soul that did it. You did no wrong, so why do you have to go through this retribution?

Su Yang thought, Maybe for deviating from the plot? If he lowered his head and ran along with the plot, maybe neither the Apparition nor the Half-Withered Crimson would have anything to do with him.

But he couldn’t reveal that, so instead, he scattered hints, “Maybe it’s from me trying to change my fate…?”

Gu Feidi seemed to understand what he was trying to say, a guess without foreshadowing. 

He quivered for a moment, lowered his gaze and lamented, “Then I should have a part too. Even if you and I were supposed to be enemies, I was the one who took the first initiative, a thought that should never have happened. I was the one who dragged you down.”

Su Yang said with a smile, “It takes two to tango…wait—one palm alone can’t clap.”

Gu Feidi didn’t make a comment. 

Su Yang moved forward and gave the other a light peck on the lips. “Since we have already reached this point, instead of spending time arguing about who was at fault, we should spend our remaining time as happily as possible. That’s right, since we got rid of the Blood Gu, next…I can finally do what I really want.”

At first, Gu Feidi didn’t understand what Su Yang meant.

But when his eyes fell on Su Yang’s face, which was covered in a thin layer of blush, followed by the trembling eyelashes, biting and a tiny lick at the corner of the lip, and then slowly increasing breathing…Suddenly, he understood what Su Yang meant.

“You want to…” Gu Feidi was disbelieving and was also unsure. “...With me…” 

Su Yang bit his lower lip before giving Gu Feidi a shy smile.

His fingertips travelled from Gu Feidi’s middle robe’s neckline as he gently rubbed along the exquisite edge.

Inside, he was also nervous. After all, he had never paid attention to how two men would do the deed, outside of picking up bits and pieces around the all-inclusive interweb, which gave him a rough idea. Yet, he truly didn’t know the details.

However, based on Gu Feidi’s reaction during his past failed attempts, Su Yang assumed that the other party should be onboard with this…Therefore, he was also willing to fulfil Gu Feidi’s desire and complete the young man’s wishes before leaving.

Closing his eyes slightly, he shortened their distance again, close enough that their noses touched, and placed a second kiss softly upon the other’s lips.

Gu Feidi raised his hand to hold Su Yang’s chin to kiss him back.

Soon, the temperature between them rose, as they exchanged breath, eyes locked, and bodies melting against one another...

However, just as Gu Feidi’s hand moved down to Su Yang’s belt, there were footsteps echoing from outside of the door.

They exchanged a helpless look and separated slightly from each other to calm their raging minds.

Luo Yu knocked on the door, and asked in a worried tone, “Is Su Yang awake? If not, I’m afraid I need to force him awake using acupuncture.”

Su Yang sucked in a breath, coughed once and responded, “...I’m awake.”

Judging by Luo Yu’s new tone, it was obvious that a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders. “That’s good, as long as you’re awake. I changed your prescription for today, and it needs to be consumed before meals. Since you’re up, take the medicine before you eat something. It’s late in the afternoon, remember to eat to keep your strength up.”

Su Yang uttered, “...Yes, I’m getting up.”

Luo Yu walked away from the door soon after. Su Yang and Gu Feidi looked at each other, their faces blushing with embarrassment. Now the mood was killed, they got up together and went through their routine. 

Luo Yu quickly came back with herbal soup and observed Su Yang finishing the medicine. He examined the younger man’s pulse and told him, “Although the Blood Gu is out of your body, your meridians have been slightly damaged. Avoid staying out for too long, don’t want you to catch a cold, and don’t overstrain yourself…”

As he spoke, he glanced at Su Yang’s neck for a moment, and then back at Gu Feidi, as if pointing out something and stressed, “...And do it moderately, we don’t want your vitality being sapped.”

Gu Feidi: “...”

Su Yang: “...”

Luo Yu repeated his instructions before leaving the courtyard by the hot spring.

Then a disciple brought in lunch. Su Yang and Gu Feidi enjoyed their meals together, and sat on the couch playing Five-in-a-RowFive-in-a-Row: Also called Gomoku, or Gobang (五子棋), is an abstract strategy board game. Where the first player connects five pieces together wins (Like Connect Four but with a flat board). (I had to look what abstract strategy means, it’s for games where experience doesn’t matter, as in the rules and the theme of the game do not change). to kill time—Su Yang couldn't grasp the concept of GoAlso called Weiqi/ Weichi (圍棋), is another abstract strategy board game. The goal is to surround more territory than the opponent using the pieces. , even after Gu Feidi taught him several times. He simply couldn’t pick up the game.

After Gu Feidi clearly went easy on him twice, Su Yang tossed the chess pieces aside from boredom and murmured, “I don’t want to play anymore. This is pointless.”

Gu Feidi cleaned the board and put away the pieces, asking, “Anything else you want to play? Then how about dancing?”

Su Yang shook his head. “I’m feeling tired and don’t really want to move…”

Gu Feidi’s hands that were storing the pieces paused, before suggesting, “Go take a nap if you’re tired.”

“I don’t want to nap either.” Su Yang sat cross-legged on the couch and looked at Gu Feidi while resting his chin in his hand. “I’ve been sleeping for so long recently. Now I’m not sleepy at all. I want to spend time with you…”

Gu Feidi stared at Su Yang for a while, reached out to move the chess table to one side, and sat on the couch before grabbing the other man into his arms.

“Alright, I’ll stay with you.” His voice was soft and affectionate. 

With a bright smile on his face, Su Yang asked, “Just staying like this?”

“Yes?” Gu Feidi was confused. “There’s something you want to do?”

Su Yang emphasised on his blink as a mischievous smile appeared on his lips. “Don’t you want to continue…the thing that we didn’t finish?”

Gu Feidi hesitated. “Er, about that, why don’t we talk about it later, alright?”

Su Yang cried, “Why? Won’t you enjoy it?”

Gu Feidi extended his hand and caressed Su Yang on the forehead. “I was being thoughtless earlier. You’re still weak, and I don’t want to damage your path to recovery.”

Su Yang curled his lip in dissatisfaction. 

Gu Feidi broke into laughter from the other’s tantrum, “You…”

After pondering for a moment, he proposed, “Why don’t you sit here and I draw your portrait?”

Su Yang was surprised. “You can draw?”

Gu Feidi nodded. “My mother taught me the basics, but my skill is a bit rusty, plus I don’t have a complete set of materials…Painting might not be possible, but I can do line art.”

Raising his eyebrows, Su Yang thought of a certain scene in a classic movieIf anyone doesn't know this classic movie, it’s Titanic. Also known as ‘draw me like one of your french girls' meme. Here's a meme for reference:. He smiled and asked, “Oh~ do you want to draw me with, or without clothes?”

Gu Feidi was shocked by this bold question, as Su Yang burst out in laughter from the other’s reaction.

As the question finally sank into his brain, Gu Feidi wanted to scold but was helpless against the other’s joy. “Shixiong—”

“I was teasing you.” Su Yang wiped the tears from his eyes. “If you drew me without clothes, there was no way to know what kind of shameful deed you'd do with that drawing…”

Gu Feidi: “...”

Su Yang chuckled again. He took some soft cushions from the couch and padded them on the armrest. He leaned in a comfortable position and raised his chin toward Gu Feidi. “I’m ready, you can start now.”

Gu Feidi went around the desk, spread out a piece of paper and ground the ink. Once he got everything ready, he lifted his head up to see Su Yang had fallen asleep, leaning on the soft cushions.

The brush above the paper quivered slightly with the hand holding it.

Gu Feidi looked up and waited for the wetness in his eyes to recede. Then he put down the brush, got up, carried Su Yang from the couch to the bed, helped the sleeping man out of his outer coat, and replaced it with a comfy quilt. 

Returning to the desk, his eyes were fixed on the white paper for a long time. He eventually sat back down, picked up his brush, and slowly moved it on the paper. A pair of smiling eyes that seemed to have the ability to capture anyone’s soul appeared. 

...Followed by a pair of handsome and bright eyebrows, that were slender and tilted upward. Then, a delicate nose. Further down were the lips that he had carefully traced with his fingers and his mouth and tongue countless nights...

...Su Yang’s cheeks that fitted perfectly in his palm, Su Yang’s lower jaw that was much softer than it looked, Su Yang’s hair, although not long, was extremely smooth, the incomparably beautiful feeling of running his fingers through it...

...To Su Yang’s neck, shoulders, those bony but slender and graceful hands...

...To the waist, the legs, the feet with ten, delicate toes, that were white and clear as jade...

Finally, the artist finished his last stroke.

Gu Feidi stared at the figure on the paper for a long time, took a step back, fell into the chair, closed his eyes and released a long sigh.

Translator's Corner

Translator has something to say:

Teo: I’m crying from both the story and the lack of author’s note (excuse my tears).


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  1. Muggelschmuggel

    They got interrupted again xDD
    I’m not surprised that GFD is blaming himself now :’D

    Thx for the ch ٩( >ヮ<)۶

    • chiyuki

      don’t cry gu feidi (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

      thanks for the chap ( ◜‿◝ )♡

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