Warning: Sexual references
Soon after Ake sprinted out of the locker room, Karn and Fuse switched out of their sweaty gym attire. Unfortunately, Fuse only had his uniform as a change of clothes, not anticipating Karn’s emergency. While Karn was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a half-buttoned shirt, Fuse looked like a little school boy.
I really hate wearing my school uniform.
In front of the gym building, a nicely dressed person stood next to a black, seven-seater SUV and greeted Karn with a brief nod. Fuse didn’t recognize the car or the man. As they approached, the driver opened the side door.
On the opposite side of the car, a man in a dark suit sat cross legged and met Karn with an expectant stare. He checked off all the stereotypical mafia boxes: slicked back hair, an ‘I don’t give a fucking shit’ look in his eyes, a silver chain with a Catholic crucifix, and the suspicious bulge of concealed weapons. A locked briefcase stood at his feet. Had he not been Asian, Fuse would’ve mistook his heavy demeanor for a Sicilian.
The brooding stranger glanced at Fuse and cocked an eyebrow at Karn.
“Who the hell is this?” Judging by his tone, he wasn’t receptive to outsiders.
“Tanawat, this is Ai’Fuse. I’m sure my father’s mentioned him.” Karn looped an arm around Fuse’s waist and gave the older man a charming smile. “He’ll be accompanying us.”
Tanawat’s sharp gaze focused on Fuse again, this time with more consideration, as though assessing whether to let him in the car or not.
Feeling self-conscious of the apparently judgmental eyes on him, Fuse awkwardly smiled and leaned against Karn. Hopefully, their ‘closeness’ convinced him to just let him in the fucking vehicle.
“Are you sure?” Tanawat spoke in a foreign language that took Fuse a second to process as English.
“Yes.” Karn nodded and tightened his hold, pressing their hips together.
Shia, I should’ve paid attention in English class.
Silently cursing himself, Fuse watched the subtly heated exchange between the two. The language might’ve been foreign, but their body language could be universally understood. Fuse could put two and two together. Mister ‘I’m the consigliere of a mafia family and am so cool with my expensive sunglasses on’ clearly didn’t want Fuse to tag along.
“Teerakที่รัก, a term of endearment between Thai couples. Can be compared to 'honey' and 'dear'....” Fuse rested his chin on Karn’s shoulder and softly batted his eyelashes. He wasn’t familiar with power dynamics of mafia sons and a consigliere, but he figured Karn had the upper hand.
Karn’s attention shifted to Fuse, instantly gazing at him with intense affection. “He’s coming with us,” he said firmly.
Hoโห, 'wow'., Fuse really did have this man wrapped around his finger. Maybe, his hand jobs really were that noteworthy...
Tanawat shot them a pointed look and turned to face the front in defeat.
Seemingly pleased with his victory, Karn slid into the car and buckled up.
Just as Fuse went to join Karn, Tanawat said, “You’re sitting in the back.”
Fuse huffed and followed the chauffeur to the rear of the car. Repressing his nature to protest the second-class treatment, he stepped in and settled behind Karn in the small space. There weren’t many instances when he saw the back of Karn’s head. Karn was blessed with a full head of shiny, thick hair.
As the car drove off the lot, Karn and Tanawat continued their conversation in English. In the cramped back row of the car, Fuse crossed his arms after awkwardly buckling his seatbelt.
The ride was much longer than Fuse anticipated. Most of the time was spent with Karn and Tanawat conversing and Fuse trying to figure out where they could be going. They were definitely outside of Bangkok, but he didn’t recognize the area too well.
Staring glumly out the window, a shocking sight caught his eye. The burnt-out remains of a large, milk-white, historical building were surrounded by ash-covered grass. The grand walls were coated in soot, and all that remained above was the skeleton-like golden beams of the roof. Black rubble piled on the smoky ground. So much gray. It was like looking at a black and white photo come to life.
“Mangแม่ง, 'Damn' in Thai., it’s worse than I thought,” Karn muttered, peering at the destruction.
They parked in front of the burned building and made their way to investigate. Though there weren’t signs of smoke, the light breeze carried a cough-inducing smell, choking Fuse’s lungs.
Briefcase in hand, Tanawat led them towards the long stairway at the front of the building. He shook his head and with a grim expression, sifted bits of rubble between his fingertips.
Fuse tossed a glance at Karn.
Karn stared at the ash-covered stairs like an unfazed detective inspecting the chalk outline of a body. It was chilling how detached Karn looked. So, it begged the question, why bother going to some burned down building that he seemingly didn’t give a shit about?
“I’m going to take a look inside. Tell me if you find anything,” Karn spoke to Tanawat. He grabbed Fuse’s hand and pulled him into the cindery building.
Inside was nothing more than a wide, empty space. Tall, ornate columns in two rows led to the back of the room, where a giant, charred, golden Buddha sat. Patches of midnight-blue peeked through the scored, gray-coated pillars.
“Who would want to burn this place?” Fuse asked, anger brewing at the defamation of a historical site.
Hands on his hips, Karn clicked his tongue in disdain as he observed the scalded pillar next to him. “A fool that is sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“You know who did this?” Fuse guessed it was something to do with Karn, but why a run-down building?
“Positive.”
Perplexed, Fuse said, “Why’d they do it?”
Karn sighed, “To get my attention, I’m sure.”
“How does burning down some building get your attention?” Fuse didn’t want to sound interrogative, so he tried for a low-key tone to cover the query.
“I own this place.” Karn traced his hand over the side of the pillar, smearing ash over the gold.
“Why?” Fuse tilted his head curiously.
“It’s a long story.” A sad expression fell on Karn’s face as he surveyed the black dust sprinkled by his feet.
“Well, it won’t tell itself.”
It wasn’t that Fuse wanted to pry. He hated when others tried to do that shit to him. But he couldn’t help wanting to know just why Karn looked so hollow. What had stolen that special light in his eye?
Karn chuckled morosely and sat against the pillar, settling on the ground. Fuse kicked some rubble aside, making a space next to Karn, and joined him.
“I used to come here sometimes.” Karn dipped his finger into a pile of ash and slowly drew small circles onto the marble floor. “My friend, Ai’Mork, loved this place. He said it was the only place that ever gave him peace.” He looked at his hand as though the ashes of a loved one were streaked on his palm.
Fuse was awestruck. He’d never heard the king of wit struggle to speak. Yet here Karn was, squeezing each word out like the pain of his thoughts cut him with each word spoken.
Fuse didn’t know who ‘Mork’ was—the name didn’t sound familiar. But the gut-wrenching pain behind Karn’s eyes...it was more than enough for him to get an idea.
“He was my best friend.” Karn stopped mid-trace, half of a circle sketched into the soot and finger subtly trembling.
Sympathy flooding in his chest, Fuse gently slid his hand to Karn’s shoulder and shyly rubbed along his warm back. Having never comforted anyone before, he felt a bit intimidated to be touching Karn at this moment. But he’d seen people do this in movies, so he figured this wasn’t overstepping a boundary. “Was?”
Karn nodded, not reacting to the gesture. “He got into a car accident five years ago...They tried saving him but…” He paused and let out a sigh weighed down with grief. “Anyway, he’d always been a history geek, so I purchased a few historical sites in his memory.”
Leaning his head against the pillar, Karn smiled grimly and pointed at one of the pillars across from them. “Right there, Ai’Mork yelled at some asshole for sticking a piece of chewed up gum behind the golden flowers on the pillar. He made the guy take his gum back and clean the area to his liking.” Karn chuckled.
Fuse couldn’t imagine what he’d feel if someone had destroyed one of his mother’s necklaces or burned her photos. Actually, he could. He’d fucking kill the son of a bitch. Oddly enough, Karn didn’t have that same fire. He seemed...defeated.
“I remember when I lost my mom. I was devastated.” Fuse pulled away and splayed his fingers into the ash, the remembered grief turning him weak. “I was young when it happened, but I still have so many memories of her, even if they’re a bit fuzzy.” He didn’t mention the months of sleepless nights he’d suffered. And when he had slept, it was almost impossible to get up. Every day was spent dry and dejected. Apparently, crying was really fucking dehydrating.
“I don’t know what I’d do without my mom,” Karn said softly.
Honestly, Fuse didn’t know how he managed all these years, especially when his father’s abuse had only worsened after her death. “I learned to adjust.”
“Adjust? Like a car seat?” Karn smirked annoyingly and glanced away, but Fuse thought he saw a glint of moisture in the other boy’s eyes. A moment later, Karn looked back at him with a naughty glint in his eyes. “I have a seat for you.” He winked and slapped his thigh as though Fuse should mount up already.
Fuse glared at his suggestiveness. “Are you into necrophilia?”
“What?” Karn grimaced, caught off guard by the accusation. “No.”
“Then how are you getting so horny when we’re talking about death?” While Fuse was opening up about the woman that gave him life, Karn was spitting on her grave with his insensitive flirtation.
Karn brushed a finger up Fuse’s thigh and smirked. “We could be in a pile of elephant shit, and I’d still be horny if I was with you.”
“Are you even affected by your friend’s death? At all?” Fuse asked pointedly, voice heightened by the light touch to his leg.
Pretentiousness dissipating, Karn removed his hand and looked away from Fuse’s harsh gaze. “It’s been years, but I still feel this sense of emptiness. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about him. But I don’t want to dwell on it.”
“Life’s losses are the soul’s scars,” Fuse murmured thoughtfully and looked up at the singed remnants of the patterned ceiling.
“Scars don’t have to be a bad thing though.” Karn dug his hands under the piles of ash, the small mountains burying him. “They’re the most tangible memory.”
“Not every memory is worth keeping.” Fuse fucking hated the scars on his body. They were permanent reminders of his father’s beatings. Vivid detail of the afflictions flashed in his eyes each time he caught sight of the thick marks on his body.
Suddenly, a warm hand cradled his chin and turned him to a face filled with soft delight. The faint smell of smoke lingered under his nose.
“What’re you doing?” Heat burned Fuse’s cheeks as his gaze met long, thick lashes and rich-brown eyes.
“I’m making a memory worth keeping.” Karn scooted closer, his expensive fragrance overpowering the burnt scent, and grabbed Fuse by the waist.
The magnetic force of attraction lured Fuse in, and before he knew it, their lips had locked. Excitement fluttered in his chest, as though his heart had beating wings, the sounds of heavy breathing and their mouths colliding filling the resonant space.
Needy for contact, Fuse grasped Karn’s neck, their teeths clashing together from the rough contact. He didn’t know what had come over him, or why he was so desperate for touch. Perhaps, his mother’s passing still affected him after all those years. Maybe, he just wanted to forget how to grieve.
As that thrilling knot in his abdomen tightened, he became more aware of his surroundings, the uncomfortable thought of Tanawat catching them filled the back of his mind. He didn’t want to be interrupted twice in one day, especially from the likes of Tanawat.
Before he could no longer control himself, Fuse pulled away and licked his lips at the delicious sight of ash smudged over Karn’s hickeys.
Sensing that Karn was about to kiss him again, Fuse decided to ruin the mood. “Did you do this with Mork too?”
It was a fair question. After all, Karn seemed to blur the lines when it came to the ‘friends’ label.
Karn’s brows furrowed, and his hold loosened. “No, Ai’Mork was straight.”
“Like that would stop you.” Fuse pushed Karn away and scowled at the black smoke on his uniform. “My being straight hasn’t stopped you yet.” Tanawat was going to have many questions when they left, likely in English.
“You mother fucker, you are not straight because straight guys do not touch other guys’ dicks.” Karn angrily stood and then seemed to stop for a moment. He bit his lip. “I used to like him.”
He shifted away from Fuse and back to his original position. “But I cut that off after he got his first girlfriend. I realized that I couldn’t change his sexuality. He’d never look at me the way I wanted him to.” He paused again, and an evil glint appeared in his eye. “But the way you look at me is different.”
Fuse bit his tongue in suppressed rage. I don’t look at you in any specific way.
“I can never entirely erase my feelings.” Karn continued. “But after I started dating, it got easier, and I was able to move on from him.”
“How many people have you dated?” Fuse didn’t know why he asked that. It didn’t matter to him, but he was suddenly desperately curious to know.
Karn paused and looked up in thought. “A couple of serious ones, although the last relationship I had was a few years ago. I’ve casually dated more than anything.”
Casually dated. Fuse figured what that meant.
“How many people have you slept with?” Did he really want to know?
Why did I ask him that?
Karn chuckled. “Enough.”
“That’s not a number.”
At the retort, Karn scratched the back of his neck, throwing him a smirk. “Does oral count?”
“Yes.”
Karn rolled his eyes in apparent bored confusion. “More than ten, less than twenty.”
Fuse’s brows shot straight up. His heart sped to its maximum BPM. “Twenty people?” He exclaimed. “Are you a prostitute? Do I need to get tested for something?”
Karn laughed. “No, I’ve been tested. I’m all clean.”
Heavy jealousy sank to the bottom of Fuse’s churning guts, his heart following suit. The thought of a classroom of people being with Karn made him sick enough that he swore he was going to throw up. He couldn’t believe that Karn had been with so many people.
Is Karn really that careless with feelings? Is sex really that meaningless to him?
As far as Fuse was concerned, he was fine with their sort-of-established friends with benefits deal. It didn’t make sense for him to care about Karn’s views on sex when they’d already labeled their interludes as meaningless. Yet, for some reason, Fuse was deeply bothered to learn that Karn was this...slutty.
“It’s not exactly twenty. And besides, what about you?” Karn raised a defensive brow to him. “How many people have you been with?”
Fuse didn’t want to sound like a fucking loser. Honest answer? Zero.
He pretended to think and counted on his hands. “Ten, more or less?”
Karn tensed. “Ten? How many of them were serious?”
“Five. Must be the daddy issues.” Fuse shrugged. He didn’t know the average number of sexual partners, but if Karn had so many, then he could have many too. Hypothetically.
Karn crossed his arms and immediately broke eye contact. He seemed really disgusted and angry, which was a weird reaction for someone that basically had more lovers than days of the week.
“Araiอะไร, 'What' in Thai.?” Fuse asked.
“Baoเบา, 'Nothing' in Thai. Commonly heard in Thai dramas..” Karn shrugged indignantly.
Fuse rolled his eyes and nudged his shoulder. “Tell me.” The silent treatment was worse than being yelled at. He’d take a punch to the face over silence any day.
“It’s just...ten is a lot of people.”
Fuse scoffed. “Says the person who can’t even count how many he’s been with.”
“I know how many I’ve been with, but—” Karn pursed his lips and shot him an enraged look. “You’ve really been with ten people? Off-topic question. Do you happen to know the names and addresses of these people?”
Fuse bit his inner cheek and studied Karn’s over the top reaction. “Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t.”
A bad feeling curled in the pit of Fuse’s stomach. His gut told him that he shouldn’t have lied about how many people he’d slept with. But if Karn had been with so many, then it wasn’t fair of him to judge Fuse’s fake sex count. Besides, Karn might back off if he knew the truth. Not many wanted to be responsible for the aftermath of sleeping with a virgin.
Karn stood up suddenly. “I’m going to check on the rest of the building. Don’t wander too far.”
About to ask if he could tag along, Fuse thought better and simply nodded. The idea of being unwanted company wasn’t appealing to him, and considering that he’d practically pressured his way over here, he figured he’d overstayed his welcome.
Without another word, Karn walked to the other end of the building, past the burnt decay and leaving Fuse in the middle of it all.
* * *
At a secluded booth in ‘Lay’s Bar’ with a beer in his hand, Fuse reflected on the events of today at the building.
He didn’t like the way they’d left things. After Karn finished surveying the rest of the building, they traveled back to the university in grim silence. Upon their slightly disheveled appearance, Tanawat gave them a surly expression, but even he didn’t say so much as a word. They returned to the dorms—still in silence.
Ake slid into the seat across from him, a bit of his beer streaming over the side of the glass. Paying no mind, he licked the spilled alcohol off the back of his hand and smirked at Fuse.
“When did you and Karn start fooling around?” Ake asked randomly.
Fuse grimaced. He knew the question was coming, but that didn’t mean he didn’t dread it any less. “A few days ago.”
“It’s only been a few days, and you’re that hot for each other?” Ake sat back and laughed smugly. “How did that even happen?”
Fuse sipped the head of his beer and licked the foam off his lips. “It just sort of did, I guess.”
Though he didn’t owe his friend an explanation, he’d want Ake to spill the details were the positions reversed. After all, up until this point, he’d given Ake the impression that he was unreservedly straight.
“Do you like him?” Ake took an experimental taste of his beer and smacked his lips together. It seemed to be a hit, since he went in for another swig.
“Fuck no.” Fuse almost spit his drink out at the idea. “He’s a total asshat.”
Ake frowned and cocked his head. “Then why are you doing that with him?”
“It’s good to get horniness out of your system.” Fuse gulped down part of his beer, deciding the flavor wasn’t the worst in the world, and shrugged. “It’s healthy.”
“It’s healthy when it’s with someone you care about.” Ake was such a romantic. The only thing Fuse cared about was passing the Bodyguard Program and maintaining his friendship with Ake. The rest was background noise, and he wasn’t going to get involved with anyone until he’d set himself up in life.
“People have casual sex all the time,” Fuse argued. The countless hook-ups he’d heard about from dating apps proved that theory true.
“And studies show that those people are miserable.” Ake pointed a finger at him and dragged the beverage to his lips.
“I guess I’m an outlier then because I’m feeling fucking fantastic.” Fuse smiled widely.
What was there to be miserable about? Sure, Fuse would prefer to be intimate with someone he cared about, but he didn’t mind greasing the wheels with Karn before taking his bike out for a real ride. If anything, messing around with Karn was preparing him for actual relationships. This way, when the time came, he wouldn’t fail to deliver. And if he kept believing this, he would remain emotionally uninvolved, and that would be fine for everyone.
“He seems to like you,” Ake mentioned offhandedly.
Fuse choked on his drink, his throat burning from the alcohol. “He does not.” Karn had no reason to like Fuse—he had nothing to offer other than sex. And he could get that anywhere. “He wants us to be friends with benefits. That’s it. Probably ‘cause it’s handy for him.”
“Those are some nice benefits you got going there.” Ake joked and happily chugged the rest of his beer. “Do you get a pension too?”
“Fuck off.” Fuse pushed his beer aside, no longer in the mood to leisurely drink with his friend.
“I think he likes you,” Ake said matter-of-factly, like he’d found the information from Encyclopedia Britannica.
“I highly fucking doubt it.” Fuse sat back and eased his posture, though he felt anything but relaxed.
“Wasn’t he jealous of Mali?”
“I don’t think so.” Fuse replayed Karn’s reaction in his head. He didn’t know what to make of the Mali incident, but jealousy just didn’t sound like Karn... “Although, he did act really weird after I told him I slept with ten people. I figured that was because he found it gross though.”
Ake’s jaw dropped. “You told him you had sex with ten people?”
“Isn’t that common?” Fuse asked innocently.
“For anyone but you, maybe.” Ake wrinkled his nose and rested his arms on the table. “If he likes you...Jeez, no wonder he freaked out.”
Fuse sank in his seat, trying to keep a collected smile on his face but failing miserably. “Do you think he was jealous?”
“Hard to say. He could’ve been grossed out, like you said.” Ake tossed around the thought and bared his teeth. “Or he could’ve been losing his mind thinking of all the people that got to sleep with you before him.”
“He did ask for their names and addresses…”
Ake blinked. “Holy shit, this dude be hella pissed. Fuse, you idiot, you just pissed off a mafia son. Rest in peace to those ten people.” Suddenly, Ake laughed. “That or he wants to sleep with them too.”
Fuse was growing fond of their explosive ‘sessions’. What if Karn didn’t want to anymore because of Fuse’s supposed sexual history, or the novelty wore off? It was the first time in a long time that he actually looked forward to something.
“There’s only one way to know for sure.” Ake stalled his suggestion and leaned forward. “You’ve got to test him.”
“Test him?” Fuse’s eyes narrowed. “Isn’t that a bit manipulative?”
“People do it all the time. When someone isn’t honest with his feelings, the next best thing to do is observe his actions. Actions are more telling than words.” Ake may not have been the love expert, but he still had more experience than Fuse, not that that was saying much. His advice was as good as he was going to get.
“Alright.” Fuse decided he’d take the chance. “How do I test him?”
Fuse has charmed his way into accompanying Karn on his mafia business. I like this sensual contrast :
While Karn was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a half-buttoned shirt, Fuse looked like a little school boy.
They encounter a Mafia Asian with “I don’t give a f ing shit” look in his eyes and not pleased to see Fuse. Watching Karn obviously arguing with the consigliere , Fuse decides to put on a charming act with batting his eyelashes. This surprised me but Fuse has had to use charm before to get what he wants.
I like Karn looking at Fuse with intense affection and commanding the consigliere that Fuse is coming.
They encounter devastation. Ash and soot and destruction are beautifully flowing throughout this chapter. This images are beautiful and powerful.
The burnt-out remains of a large, milk-white, historical building were surrounded by ash-covered grass.
The grand walls were coated in soot, and all that remained above was the skeleton-like golden beams of the roof.
This is a beautiful image.
Black rubble piled on the smoky ground.
So much gray. It was like looking at a black and white photo come to life. I love this image.
Karn is holding in emotions as he has been trained to do.
. It was chilling how detached Karn looked.
I love this image with the charred Buddha and midnight blue peeking through pillars.
. Tall, ornate columns in two rows led to the back of the room, where a giant, charred, golden Buddha sat. Patches of midnight-blue peeked through the scored, gray-coated pillars.
As Karn smears ash over the gold, he reveals that he bought the mansion and brought his friend Mork there.
Karn is morose. This is lovely.
He looked at his hand as though the ashes of a loved one were streaked on his palm.
There are two aspects to this.
Fuse draws Karn out noticing the light has gone out of his eyes and noticing the sadness. This is caring.
Karn also trusts Fuse enough to share his thoughts. He even shows his feelings that Fuse notes.
Yet here Karn was, squeezing each word out like the pain of his thoughts cut him with each word spoken. I like this image.
It is a sweet development of Fuse, that he awkwardly tries to show sympathy. Fuse has never comforted other before.
Sympathy flooding in his chest, Fuse gently slid his hand to Karn’s shoulder and shyly rubbed along his warm back. Having never comforted anyone before, he felt a bit intimidated to be touching Karn at this moment.
Fuse notes that Karn seems defeated. Sad at the loss of his friend and the destruction of the mansion.
Fuse tries to show his sympathy offering his sadness when he lost his mom.
Although Karn with a glint of moisture in his eyes, tries to distract feeling with flirtation , Fuse is not pleased. He retaliates with being into necrophilia and getting horns about death.
Karn continues on with the hilarious:
We could be in a pile of elephant shit, and I’d still be horny if I was with you.”
Karn does admit that this is a painful loss.
It’s been years, but I still feel this sense of emptiness. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about him.
I like Fuse’s comment as it is true. Life’s losses are the soul’s scars
When Karn tries to comment that scars are not a bad thing, Fuse jumps into the hatred of the scars left by his dad.
This is beautiful. The faint smell of smoke lingered under his nose.Karn is delightful. “I’m making a memory worth keeping.”
Karn scooted closer, his expensive fragrance overpowering the burnt scent, and grabbed Fuse by the waist. I like the fragrance overpowering the burnt scent.
Fuse responds needing contact maybe wanting to flee grief reflections.
Maybe, he just wanted to forget how to grieve.
This is very sensual. I love it.
Fuse pulled away and licked his lips at the delicious sight of ash smudged over Karn’s hickeys.
Fuse purposefully deflates the moments by asking about Mork and sex. Upon learning that Mork was straight, Fuse chimes in that he was straight as well.
I love Karn calling out Fuse on this.
But the way you look at me is different.”
Fuse is high denial and reacts with anger.
Fuse bit his tongue in suppressed rage. I don’t look at you in any specific way.
Fuse taps into jealousy asking how many people Karn has dared. How many he has slept with. Karn’s honest answer of close to 20 sets Fuse off into rampant jealousy.
Heavy jealousy sank to the bottom of Fuse’s churning guts, his heart following suit. I like this image.
Underneath it all, Fuse is really afraid that his sensual encounters within Karn were meaningless. A huge fear.
Is Karn really that careless with feelings? Is sex really that meaningless to him?
He tries to tell himself that it does matter as Karn is just a benefit friend. Yet it does.
Yet, for some reason, Fuse was deeply bothered to learn that Karn was this…slutty.
Karn responds with his own questions. Fuse chooses to lie and say he has been with ten people. Karn reacts.
Karn crossed his arms and immediately broke eye contact. He seemed really disgusted and angry, which was a weird reaction for someone that basically had more lovers than days of the week.
Karn is definitely jealous as well and storms off.
So there are two jealous reactions.
Fuse who says this relationship is just sex, but is horribly jealous and even fearful as a virgin.
Karn who believes Fuse’s lies and is now jealous himself, as he cares.
This is not great communication
Later Fuse is confronted by Ake. I like Ake being honest and pushing Fuse into facing his actions and feelings. Ake points out that Karn seems to like him. Fuse is into his denial mode, wanting no feelings.
If anything, messing around with Karn was preparing him for actual relationships. This way, when the time came, he wouldn’t fail to deliver. And if he kept believing this, he would remain emotionally uninvolved.
However Ake touches a nerve of fear. What if Karn no longer wanted him because of the supposed sexual history. He even admits that he does not want to lose these explosive sessions with Karn.
What if Karn didn’t want to anymore because of Fuse’s supposed sexual history, or the novelty wore off? It was the first time in a long time that he actually looked forward to something.
Fuse definitely does not want to lose Karn even if he does not acknowledge his feelings.
So Ake comes up with the hare brained scheme to test Karn on his feelings.
Then Fuse naively goes along with this.
The blind leading the blind.
This chapter offered nice development of their relationship. There is a nice juxtaposition of each one brushing g each other off to change emotions.
First.
There was definite trust and caring as both expressed emotions and revealed past sadness in their lives. There was sympathy on Fuse’s part and likely sympathy from Karn. However, as Karn does not like to dwell in past scars, he turn flirtatious.
Second. As Fuse finds himself responding sexually to Karn, he decides to turn off the sensuality with questions about Mork and previous lovers.
Both Karn and Fuse intentionally distracted actions.
I have hopes for the caring shown and emotional development. This was a delightful chapter.